


Bastet

by NanakiBH



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Anal Sex, Awkward Romance, Biting, Blackmail, Blood, Blood As Lube, Body Worship, Cannibalism, Coming Untouched, Fingerfucking, Food Kink, Kissing, M/M, Masks, Massage, Murder, Nakadashi, Public Blow Jobs, Public Sex, Scars, Scent Kink, Scent Marking, Shower Sex, Wet & Messy, Wet Clothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 14:36:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 28,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2432381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These feelings aren't convenient.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Warrior

**Author's Note:**

> I began this with the intent of only writing about them having sex while wearing their masks and look at what happened.

The night was overcast; dark grey clouds veiling the moon as the scent of impending rain waited heavy in the air around them. Expecting little from the leads they were hunting on this night, Banjou and the trio chose to rest at home with Hinami. As always, Banjou was hesitant to leave Kaneki alone with Tsukiyama, but Kaneki had assured him that he could defend himself if the need arose.

Tsukiyama was the one responsible for the night's leads, handed down to him as a recommendation from an old friend whose photographs proved that, at the very least, they were hunting men who deserved whatever they had coming to them. Now that she knew where they would be, he wouldn't have been surprised if he found her sneaking around the scene with her camera in hand, waiting to snap the most interesting shot of their carnage. Granted, things didn't need to turn out that way, but they always invariably did. Once Kaneki deemed a lead worthless, that was where the road ended for them.

It was rare that he got to accompany Kaneki alone on one of these excursions. After misbehaving and finding himself uncomfortably close to having the life strangled from him by Kaneki's kagune once already, the nature of their relationship had evolved into... something. After that encounter, he had no doubt that Kaneki could overpower him and kill him if he wanted to, but he hadn't. With his kagune still tightly wrapped around his throat, Kaneki had held him down and fucked him, telling him that he wanted that to be the last thing he would remember – having his pride stolen from him before suffering a shameful death.

Blue in the face, struggling to breathe, the only word Tsukiyama had managed to get out was a broken plea for more.

Killing him after that probably would've made Kaneki feel like an idiot.

So he let him live, and neither of them spoke a word of what had happened to the others. He continued to show up like usual, continued to bring flowers with him, except now he would occasionally slip into Kaneki's room under the pretense of a private conversation only to get on his knees and let Kaneki fuck his throat until he was hoarse.

Tsukiyama found himself with a dilemma. The idea of being physically dominated by another person was not a thought he'd ever permitted himself in the past. Before that encounter with Kaneki, if he'd been asked whether he liked the thought of allowing someone else control of his body, he would've surely said that he didn't. Simply, the difference had to be Kaneki. After giving it much thought, he realized that the idea of being overwhelmed by his prey was thrilling. Humans enjoyed hunting lions and other 'big game' because they enjoyed the thrill of asserting themselves over one of nature's strongest predators. To him, a human couldn't threaten him more than a hissing kitten.

Kaneki was a lion and he was willingly placing his head between his jaws. This was, perhaps, he thought, the way that humans felt about ghouls.

He wouldn't allow anyone else to bring him to that level.

This was where his dilemma truly began. On multiple occasions, he'd spotted his opportunity to strike. While they were like that, Kaneki was simultaneously at his most fierce and at his most vulnerable. As soon as Kaneki closed his eyes, feeling confident that he was still in control, Tsukiyama could have plunged his hand into his chest and torn out his heart. The thought had sounded especially appealing during the heat of the moment, but, after he'd let his head cool off, he began to reconsider.

Kaneki was the first person to show him this feeling; what it felt like to be less. He was the only one.

He wasn't even sure if he liked it, but his body definitely reacted. He kept seeking him out – now, specifically for this reason. The desire to eat him was still strong, but it was now competing with this other, unexplainable need to lay at Kaneki's feet.

Unconsciously, he might have accepted Kaneki as the superior predator. So shaken by the reality that there was someone stronger than him, he might've snapped and interpreted his own fear as lust. It was a fine hypothesis, if only he didn't keep seeking to re-experience that fear. He didn't know what else to make of it, though. Every time he was with him, he wanted to eat him, but a part of him kept pushing that desire away in favor of this new, exciting thing he felt whenever he was near him.

They obviously hadn't told Banjou and the others about what they were doing. There was no need for them to know, although it was impossible for them to continue what they had without them noticing anyway. Kaneki hadn't immediately noticed it, but once he realized that he was carrying his scent around on him, Tsukiyama received a fantastic beating for it. At that point, Tsukiyama had already been proudly wearing Kaneki's scent for a week, and had found that it came with a fascinating side-effect.

As Kaneki became more known and feared throughout the ghoul world as the vicious Centipede, Tsukiyama found himself in an advantageous position by association. Being covered in the scent of the Centipede made him feel stronger – never mind that he had also been taking a small tasting of their ghoul victims whenever they ended a worthless lead. He'd noticed a slight increase in his own physical strength, but he found the power of intimidation that he obtained by laying with Kaneki even more valuable.

Naturally, when they showed up somewhere together now, other ghouls would shit themselves in fear. If an unsavory ghoul crossed paths with them, their fate was decided before they had the chance to even extend their kagune.

Days like these wouldn't be able to continue forever, but he enjoyed things the way they were. It was... Empowering. He would've even called it fun. He enjoyed being with Kaneki. Watching him dance around an enemy, seeing his face become serene as a rain of blood misted his face, watching him devour the ones he'd asserted his superiority over...

He was beautiful.

Though he enjoyed the pure, naïve Kaneki who believed he didn't need to kill to survive, Tsukiyama was in love with his transformation into the Centipede. He was in perfect form, at the height of freshness. If he wanted to eat him, now would be the time.

But he loved what he saw. It wouldn't feel right to eat him just yet when he wished to appreciate his beauty for a little longer. It wasn't like he was going to spoil, and he doubted that anyone else could dig a knife into him before Tsukiyama'd had his taste. Kaneki was too tough now to be taken down by any regular ghoul. As long as he kept an eye on him, as long as he stayed by his side, then he was sure that he would find the right moment soon enough.

He wasn't going to worry about it any longer.

“You've been awfully quiet.”

Once they'd fallen quiet, his thoughts had strayed. He simply enjoyed walking along beside him as he followed him down the street toward their destination. The sun had set at least an hour ago, but there was enough light from the street lights and illuminated store signs around them to let him see Kaneki's face. Tsukiyama found their walk pleasant, but Kaneki seemed to be thinking about what lay in store for them; his hands clenched into fists at his sides, his visible eye narrowed.

“What's that, mon cher? Are you not feeling well?”

Kaneki sighed; a frustrated sound. “I'm-” He paused and waved a hand in the air dismissively. “Whatever. I just want to get this over with as quickly as possible.”

“You aren't worried, are you? You know that you have nothing to worry about. Besides,” Tsukiyama said, placing a hand over his chest, “you have me here to protect you.”

“That's not it.”

How curious. Did he think he would let him go without pressing him for more?

“Then? What is it?”

He kept his head down, watching his feet as they walked. Tsukiyama was almost certain that Kaneki wasn't going to say anything after a few seconds of noticeable length passed, so he was surprised when he finally received an answer.

“Being a full ghoul, you probably won't get it, but I just get this feeling of unease whenever I know I'm going to have to kill someone. I hardly regret it, but... There's this unshakeable feeling I get. It's like my heart is being locked up, yet, at the same time, I feel like I'm losing something.”

Tsukiyama smirked, tickled by his choice of words. “That's very poetic of you.”

“Shut up,” Kaneki said, turning to glare at him.

“No,” he assured, “I like it. I'd be sad if you ever completely lost that soft side of you. It's a very important flavor.”

Making a sour face, Kaneki ignored him and quickened their pace a little. Despite the many bars lining the streets, there weren't many humans to be seen wandering around in this area. The only ones they took notice of were the few foolish, drunken ones who stumbled out into the open without a care. Once they had enough in them, they seemed to forget about the dangers that lurked within the shadows, waiting to grab them up as a midnight snack. They were easy targets for the local ghouls.

Being aware of what sort of ghouls inhabited this area, Tsukiyama didn't have any high hopes for them. He didn't even particularly enjoy the thought of Kaneki feeding on ghouls who had been feeding on nothing but sickly drunks. Kaneki treated all of his victims like food, though, as if he were paying his respects to them by putting their flesh to use. Most of them didn't even deserve such respect.

“You have everything?" Kaneki asked, glancing at the leather bag Tsukiyama was carrying.

Expecting the least from their leads, that bag contained everything they would need to get themselves out of a potentially messy situation; a change of clothes for both of them, a couple cleaning cloths, disinfectants, and, most importantly, something new that Tsukiyama had decided to bring along for this particular outing. Considering their low expectations, no one could blame him for what he brought with him.

“I have everything and then some,” he said, lifting the bag, letting Kaneki hear its unique rattle.

He looked curious. “What's that supposed to mean? We don't need anything unnecessary with us.”

What did he think he packed? His flat iron?

“Non, non. You shall see. I have something interesting planned for the two of us tonight. Let's say... If I were to extend another invitation, would you accept this time?

Taking half a second to think about it, Kaneki immediately said, “No. Probably not. As long as it involves serving me for dinner, I'm not interested.”

That wasn't at all what he had in mind, but it was pointless to try to convince Kaneki for now. He needed to prove his intentions. Later, after they finished up here, it would become clearer what he wanted to do.

Unfortunately, his intentional vagueness had turned Kaneki's curiosity into suspicion.

“You wound me, you know,” Tsukiyama said. “I have no plans to eat you tonight. Please relax. Frowning so frequently the way you do is just bound to give you wrinkles, and I won't allow that to occur on my account.”

Hearing that only made Kaneki's scowl deepen. “It's odd to hear concern like that coming from the person who wants to eat me. You'll have to excuse my skepticism. I just get a lot of weird mixed messages from you, so it's hard for me to tell whether you're plotting to kill me or whether you just wanna fuck.”

Tsukiyama choked. “Must you put it so crassly?”

Though he may not have dispelled Kaneki's suspicion, he did finally see him crack a real, amused smile, even if it had to come at his expense. “So I was right? You're a pretty nasty guy. I guess I should've known from the beginning. You always did seem like a pervert to me.”

He had to wonder whether those were the words of the Kaneki who had been twisted or if they were his true thoughts that would have gone unspoken by his former self. Either way, they sunk into him like a knife, hitting him in a way that he hadn't felt before. In the past, he felt like he had been good at weathering harsh comments from others, but when Kaneki had something to say about him, his words went straight from Tsukiyama's ears to his heart. And to some other parts of him as well, seeing as how his mind immediately began to replay scenes from their last rendezvous.

Yes, he wanted to dine with him, and the desire to have him as the meal was also undeniable, but his true want for that evening lay in the bedroom. Hearing Kaneki plainly speak his thoughts out loud for him left Tsukiyama feeling exposed and ashamed and also very aroused.

He didn't think he was a pervert, but he knew that he didn't think the way that other people did. If that were what made him a pervert, then he was a pervert for Kaneki.

“It should be right around here,” Kaneki said.

Tsukiyama followed him, and they cautiously slipped into the shadows between two buildings. There was a metal gate in front of them, but it was no higher than their waists. All Kaneki needed to do was reach over it and pull up the latch, then it swung open without any further effort. Under his breath, he hoped that they weren't about to encounter a guard dog. There was no other reason for such an arbitrary gate to exist, but there were no dogs to greet them; only the silence of the dark alleyway, punctuated by the throbbing pulse of bass from the buildings on either side of them.

“It looks like we're early,” Tsukiyama said, walking ahead of him, past a dumpster and a low fire escape, to check around the corner at the end of the alley. An old man staggered out of the kitchen exit from the back of a restaurant, but there was no one else around. The man didn't seem to notice him and kept hobbling in the other direction toward the street.

When he returned, Kaneki unzipped the front of his hoodie and pulled his mask out from inside. “You should put yours on, too. If they're not here yet, then they'll probably be here soon. You don't want to get caught off guard.”

It hardly mattered when they were just going to kill them anyway, but the odds of being seen by a human whilst in the middle of a compromising situation was never zero. Dropping the bag at his feet, he unzipped it and searched through its contents until he found his mask. Zipping it back up, he pushed the bag against the brick wall where Kaneki was leaning and came to join him as he secured his mask over his face.

“I've been wondering,” he said, moving a little closer. For each inch he moved nearer, Kaneki moved away by two. “What do you think of my mask?”

“I guess it suits you,” Kaneki said, intently watching the other end of the alley, his attention unflinching.

Wondering what that meant, Tsukiyama lifted two fingers, brushing them lightly along the side of his mask in thought. “The first time you saw me wearing it, we were in quite the situation, weren't we? Does seeing it frighten you now?” he asked, giving him a playful, teasing grin.

That was enough to finally grab his attention. Tsukiyama could feel his desire to retort with something childish, but he was clearly holding it in. “Not at all. I'd say that the mask you wear when you aren't wearing your mask is a lot more frightening.”

Kaneki really knew how to be cruel. He'd already promised him that he wasn't trying to double-cross him tonight. Once bitten, twice shy, as they said. Catching someone in a lie more than once was enough to leave anyone wary; anyone who valued their own life, at least.

It didn't feel right to reply to a comeback like that, and he'd already missed his opportunity to shoot back with something to try to prove him wrong. What followed was an awkward sort of silence that even Kaneki seemed to be uncomfortable with. He settled back against the wall, tilting his head back, closing his eye, looking tired. It _was_ night, after all. The only people who were still awake were those visiting the surrounding clubs and bars.

The building in front of them was actually a seedy strip club that attracted the worst kind of lowlife ghouls. To protect its patrons and their 'merchandise' from unwelcome humans, the club was fronted by a Chinese takeout restaurant. If they wanted Chinese, they could have walked straight up to the front door, but getting into the club hidden at the back would have required them to hop the counter and push their way through the kitchen, causing trouble with people they didn't need to be causing trouble with. They didn't want to cause an uproar that would get them seen by anyone else.

If someone entered the club at the back, there appeared to be only two ways for them to leave without looking suspicious: through the door at the back where the girls came in, or the door on the side, in the alley where him and Kaneki were waiting.

The two men they were waiting for weren't big names. They had ties to the club's owner, but they didn't hold the sort of rank that would get he and Kaneki stalked if they wound up dead. He didn't know what made his informant think that these two had anything to do with the doctor who Kaneki was after. The photographs she handed him didn't look relevant in the least, but he had the feeling he understood why she had given them to him.

These lackeys were hyenas. When they weren't picking at someone else's leftovers, the two of them acted as a pair and went after young children.

She hadn't told him anything, hadn't given him any reason why they were important, but she knew what power her photographs had. She knew that when Kaneki saw a picture of two ghouls hunched over a helpless child, their faces covered in blood, that Kaneki would be compelled to hunt them.

That was the source of his unease. When they met their leads, Kaneki knew that he would see them as monsters. He wanted to erase them, but he was simultaneously afraid of them. Even if he were stronger than them, knowing that such evil existed made his heart quiver. He might've been thinking that killing them brought him one step closer to becoming what they were.

“You should relax,” Tsukiyama said.

Kaneki looked surprised to hear him. He must've been deep in his own thoughts. “I am relaxed.”

“You think I can't tell when you're lying?” Tsukiyama asked, moving in front of him, placing his hands against the wall on either side of Kaneki's head. “I prefer you when you're smiling, you know. Any kind of smile will do – a delighted one, a smug one, a deranged one... Is there anything I can do for you right now that will... help you relax?”

Kaneki gave it some thought, then reached out and placed his hands on Tsukiyama's shoulders. For a foolish moment, Tsukiyama thought Kaneki was about to lean up onto his toes to give him a kiss, but he found himself being easily turned and thrown against the wall in the next moment. Their positions swapped, Tsukiyama looked down to find Kaneki staring up at him. His expression seemed indifferent, but his gleaming red and black eye said otherwise.

“Yeah, you can do something for me. Just stand still. Keep your hands to yourself.”

A while ago, he would have thought that meant that Kaneki just wanted him to stay away from him, but those rules meant something different to him now. He could feel Kaneki's breath against his throat as he came closer. Pulling down his mask a little, he ran his tongue up his neck, tasting his skin before laying his teeth against his jaw, sinking in just enough to make him bleed a little.

“Hey, I've been wondering,” Kaneki said, teasing open the tiny wounds on his jaw before they could completely close. “You know my sense of smell isn't like yours, right? So what sort of things can other ghouls smell? In other words, I want to know what I should do to make sure they know that you belong to me.”

Tsukiyama swallowed, feeling the familiar tightening sensation behind his eyes begin. “That's... Well, they can smell a lot of things. I can tell if you've eaten already or if you've been jerking off, for example.”

Kaneki looked ready to kill.

“You asked!” Tsukiyama said quickly, trying to defend himself. “Uh... Technically speaking, if you got your cum on me, they'd only know that I've been getting fucked or been fucking somebody. If you want them to know that it was _you_ , it's a lot easier. Your own unique smell comes from your skin, from your sweat and body oils. Those are what make you smell so delicious to me. No one else has that scent.”

Seeing Kaneki ease up, Tsukiyama released a breath. Kaneki looked down at the ground thoughtfully, then back up at him. “Would this be enough?” Grabbing Tsukiyama's shoulders, he pulled him down to his height and nuzzled his head against his neck, rubbing the portion of his face uncovered by his mask against his skin. “I might have to take off my mask, though,” he said, releasing him, standing back.

“N-no, that's fine. That's probably enough. Even humans realize how differently other people's hair smells. Y-you smell really good,” he said, unable to help himself. He was already hard, and the hand that Kaneki had placed against his stomach was getting lower.

A wicked smirk, smeared with blood, appeared between the zipper in Kaneki's mask. “So... If someone can smell my scent _and_ cum on you, they'll know that you're my bitch.” He licked his lips, eyeing him like a piece of meat. “Good.”

His hand finally made it below his belt and he roughly grasped Tsukiyama through his pants, making him tilt his head back and howl. Knowing that there wouldn't be much time for them to do this, Kaneki decided to get on with things quickly, getting down on his knees between Tsukiyama's legs. With an impressive amount of focus, he worked open his pants and pushed his hand inside to pull out his cock. Before Tsukiyama could say a word, he already had it in his mouth.

Feeling Kaneki's lips wrapped tightly around him, he slammed a hand against the bricks and pressed his head back, trying not to let himself moan out loud.

“K... Kaneki...” He wanted to reach down and put his fingers in Kaneki's hair, but he remembered what he told him about keeping his hands to himself. Sucking some air back into his lungs, he looked down at him and tried to speak calmly, trying to maintain his rationality. “Kaneki-kun, are you sure this is a good idea? I know I was the one to suggest this in the first place, but...”

To make him shut up, Kaneki grazed his teeth over the head of his cock, sinking in just enough to threaten him without drawing blood. Looking up, adjusting his mask, he gave him a look. “I don't think we'll have a problem. I'm completely aware of our surroundings right now, so I'll know when they show up. And if your problem is with being seen like this, then that's just your problem.”

Kaneki really knew how to deliver a K.O. punch. Defeated, Tsukiyama relaxed his arms at his sides and stared ahead, nervously watching the door in front of them as Kaneki went back to what he was doing. It was exciting, but it was hard to ignore the fact that their leads might come out of that door at any second – and that was kind of exciting in its own way. If anyone saw them right now, they wouldn't look suspicious or out of place. A guy getting a blowjob in an alley at this time of night on this particular street was not a strange sight.

But the thought of being seen...

This wasn't how he'd been raised. If his parents were to be believed, then things like eating and having sex were best done behind closed doors. His first encounter with Chie should have been enough to convince him of that, but he couldn't help feeling excited about doing this in public with Kaneki. Frankly, if Kaneki told him to do something now, he'd do it unquestioningly. Every demand he obediently followed would bring him that much closer to the day when he could finally eat him.

Though, if he ate him...

Kaneki pulled off, running his tongue around the head of his cock. “You aren't sounding very into it. That's not like you. Don't tell me you really _are_ freaked out about doing this in public.”

“I'm not,” he said, a little too quickly. He wasn't, and he knew that Kaneki could tell that he was serious, but he could also tell that Kaneki knew that there was something else that he wasn't saying.

He wasn't going to let his thoughts go in that direction. In the first place, he was trying to get Kaneki to stop worrying. It wouldn't be good for either of them if he let himself get worked up over something unnecessary. He'd already promised himself that he wouldn't worry about when he would eat Kaneki anymore. It was on the to-do list. As long as it was on there, he'd get around to it eventually, so he didn't have to worry about it and he could still enjoy things like this with Kaneki in the meantime. That was all.

To reassure him, he gave him a smile. “It's exciting. But I'm a spoiled rich boy, right? I'm not used to this.”

“You think I am?” Kaneki snorted, scraping his nails over Tsukiyama's hip hard enough to leave marks before his skin pulled itself together. “You must be joking. The rich are some of the most depraved. You and your ghoul restaurant... I didn't know shit about that sort of lifestyle before I met you.”

“Depraved? Yes, but also repressed. Even the ones who are willing to obey their instincts couldn't dream of the things we've done together.”

Kaneki's stare was slowly broken by a grin. “I see... This was what you meant, wasn't it? Back then, when you told me to take responsibility, this was what you meant because I'm the one who made you like this. I perverted you.” He wrapped his fingers around Tsukiyama's cock, his black polish glistening as it was caught by the light from above the door. “I didn't even have to lift a finger back then. You were attracted to me like a helpless moth. I had no idea I had so much power, yet I was the one pulling your strings. How does it feel now to know that you were always going to end up serving me like my own personal slave?”

Hearing Kaneki talking like that...

“Uwah, it twitched,” Kaneki laughed, leaning in to affectionately place his lips against the tip of his cock. “I guess I don't need to even ask you things like that when your body's so ready to tell me everything I want to know.”

Placing his hands firmly on Tsukiyama's hips, he moved his head forward, letting his cock slide over his tongue. He could feel Kaneki's breath against his stomach, warm, as he took him into his mouth as deeply as he could. It was nothing compared to what Tsukiyama was capable of now, but he wasn't about to complain. Any little scrap Kaneki threw him was a gift that he would treasure. Just feeling his sweet, slick tongue sliding across his skin made his heart leap in his chest. He wanted to hold his head so badly, but he obediently kept his hands at his sides, curling them into fists against the rough bricks.

“So good, Kaneki...”

It was the least he could do to show his appreciation.

Kaneki sucked him a little harder, working his tongue along the underside before slowly pulling off, a bit of his own saliva dripping down the bottom of his mask. “Yeah,” he said, stroking his cock with his hand while he took a second to breathe. “You really like that a lot, don't you? It's too bad that your mask doesn't cover your whole face. I can tell how red your face is right now.”

Tsukiyama put a hand against the side of his face that was left exposed, feeling the heat radiating from his cheeks. Kaneki really seemed to enjoy making him flustered, but Tsukiyama would've been lying if he said that he felt any differently. He enjoyed being pestered and tormented and teased by him. He was hopelessly pinned beneath the claws of this lion.

“Cat got your tongue?” Kaneki asked, a clever smirk on his lips. Not bothering to wait for a reply, he leaned in again to swirl his tongue around the head of his cock, teasing open the slit with the tip of his tongue. Unconsciously, Tsukiyama sucked in a breath, making his fists tighter. Kaneki had already learned all of his weaknesses and knew exactly how to target them for the best effect. After digging his tongue into it repeatedly, he pressed his lips flat against the head and gave a firm, loud suck, as if he were trying to pull his cum right out of him. It felt like it was going to work, even if it were just a reaction to all the extremely lewd noises Kaneki was making while sucking on it.

His knees shook with the effort to keep himself from thrusting into Kaneki's mouth, and Kaneki placed his hands down on his knees to lock them in place.

“Just a little more,” he murmured, rubbing his lips around his cockhead, wet from a combination of Kaneki's saliva and his own precum. “I think I've gotten the hang of this. Now I can always tell when you're about to blow. I bet the guys we're waiting for will be here any second now... If I wanted, I could make you come right this second, or I could put your dick back in your pants and make you suffer with it until we're finished with them.”

“Kaneki, please-”

“No 'kun'?” Kaneki asked, letting go of his knees, running the tip of one finger along his cock from the base to the tip, collecting the precum that had dripped down the underside. Sucking his finger into his mouth, he flicked his eye up to look at him with a very serious expression. “You've been doing that a lot lately. I don't think I like it. It feels weird.”

Tsukiyama wasn't sure how he was meant to respond to that until he felt Kaneki wrap his hand around him in a painfully tight grip.

“F-forgive me, K-Kaneki-kun. I won't let it happen again.”

It was supposed to hurt. He knew that, but his cock still throbbed, leaking more precum that rolled over the backs of Kaneki's fingers. Although he tried to contain himself, his hips still rolled instinctively, itching to feel the heat of Kaneki's mouth upon him again.

“So impatient... We should probably finish up quickly, though. Since you apologized so nicely, I'll reward you this time.”

Without further ado, Kaneki put his cock back in his mouth, sucking on it noisily as he moved his head, taking as much as he could without choking himself. As if the noises weren't enough to light Tsukiyama's blood on fire, he suddenly felt something scratch along the underside of his cock. It caught him unaware and he tried to brace himself to keep from coming, even though he knew that they should hurry it up and finish as quickly as possible. Looking down, he noticed that Kaneki wasn't worrying about his mask anymore and had stopped pulling the bottom of it down to keep the zipper from hitting him. With each movement of his head, Tsukiyama felt the rough scratch of its zipper scraping into his skin over and over.

Rather than distracting him, it only added to his pleasure, so it didn't take more than a few more bobs of Kaneki's head before he felt himself about to come. It nearly overwhelmed him, but he tried to get out the words as quickly as he could to warn Kaneki that he was coming. By the time he got it out, just a pathetic croak from his throat, he was coming a second later, leaving no time for Kaneki to pull off, even if he wanted to. His climax forcefully slammed into him, but he tried to keep his eyes open, fearful of Kaneki's reaction.

Thankfully, it seemed that he wasn't surprised or displeased. He kept his hands on Tsukiyama's hips and stilled his movements, waiting until he felt the last of the tremors leave his body before he slid off.

With an amused snort, he stood up and opened his mouth, showing him the pool of cum on his tongue. Beckoning him closer with the curl of one finger, he grabbed him by his tie and pulled him down to his level. Tsukiyama didn't even have to ask, and he wouldn't fight it. He willingly opened his mouth for him, letting Kaneki slide his tongue against his, tasting his own cum as it was rolled onto his tongue.

Even after he'd swallowed, Kaneki kept their lips together for a little longer. He brought one of his hands back to Tsukiyama's cock and loosely stroked it, rolling his palm over the sensitive head now just to watch him squirm. It felt good a moment ago, but it all felt like too much after he came, overloading his senses. Even the oversensitivity felt good to a point, but as Kaneki continued to relentlessly tease it, it finally became too much to bear. He wasn't sure whether he was allowed to touch him yet, so he kept his hands down, and his legs shook as he fought to hold himself together.

“Kaneki-kun, I think that's-”

“Enough?” Kaneki asked, still moving his hand. “I guess you're right. I'll have more time to play with you later. Fix yourself up for now. You look like a mess.”

Did he really? That made him feel a little self-conscious, but he hadn't brought a mirror with him, so there was no way for him to see what he looked like. The second Kaneki released him, he immediately tucked himself back into his pants and straightened his clothes, then swiped his hands over his hair to get it back in place.

That took care of that. Scents aside, they were back to looking like they hadn't done a thing.

Which was a good thing because, a second later, the door behind them opened.

Kaneki froze, an unreadable expression on his face as he kept his face down, staring at the ground. Loud music followed the two men out of the door as they walked into the alley, immediately returning the area to its former thumping silence once it closed behind them. They looked like they were drunk, and Tsukiyama wasn't surprised. Even Kaneki must have been able to smell it on them. As the door closed, they looked up, noticing Tsukiyama who was looking at them, but they didn't seem to realize who he was. They went right back to chatting and laughing obnoxiously as they started to head toward the back end of the alley.

Amused by their reaction, he realized that they must have thought he was just a John soliciting a trick. How wrong they were.

Once they were out of earshot, Tsukiyama moved closer to Kaneki and leaned down so that only he would hear him. “You aren't going to let them go, are you?”

“Of course not,” Kaneki said, cracking one knuckle. “I finally got myself into a pretty good mood... And now it's been ruined.” He cracked another on his other hand.

Yes, his fury – Tsukiyama was always excited to see the moment when it emerged.

Tsukiyama bent, grabbing the leather bag off the ground. “Let's go show them, shall we?”

“Don't forget why we're here. We need to question them first. Don't get ahead of yourself.”

Like he needed to tell him that. By the look of it, he'd say that Kaneki was saying that more for his own sake than for any other reason. He wanted to question them, but he also wanted to snap their necks after showing them the sort of pain they inflicted upon those innocent human children. He didn't want to lose control of himself, though. With no one else around to see them at this time of the night, Kaneki could let himself go all out and no one would be there to see it.

No one except him, of course.

Truth be told, he really wanted to see it. It was one of the reasons why he went along with him.

Those men remained oblivious until he and Kaneki rounded the corner and appeared behind them. One of them – the one who had noticed Tsukiyama before – turned around and stopped his buddy. They were dense, but at least this one still had the presence of mind to realize that they were being followed. When he looked at them, they noticed that his eyes had already changed, anticipating a confrontation. The other one drunkenly swatted at the hand on his shoulder, still not quite understanding what was going on, why he made them stop.

“Good evening, gentlemen,” Kaneki said.

Tsukiyama wouldn't have addressed them so kindly.

“We just have a couple questions for you,” he said, calmly taking the photographs from his pocket. He stared at them, and, though he looked calm, his eyes were still black. It was hard to tell whether they were still that way from what they had just done or if he were just as anxious for a fight as the two nervous men who stood before them. He slowly put the photos back into his pocket. “We're looking for people who might know anything about a doctor named 'Kanou'. We've been informed that you may know a thing or two.”

As expected, they looked confused. The more sober one of the two – unique facial hair, a wiry build, tall, wearing a leather jacket – glanced at his partner, expecting him to help. However, his partner – short, muscular, bald – looked back at him with not a single answer on his face. In a matter of seconds, Tsukiyama had already determined that they weren't going to be a threat to them.

“I've got no idea what you're talking about,” the tall one said, putting his hands on his hips, laughing as if he'd been asked something absurd.

Kaneki cracked another knuckle. “It'd be really bad for you if you didn't. Are you really sure you don't know anything about him?”

“Hey, is that a threat? Are you threatening us?” the short one asked. Despite his size, he was covered in muscle. Normally, Tsukiyama wouldn't mind a muscular catch. More muscle just meant more meat, but he only went after people who took care of themselves, and this man clearly lacked respect for his own body.

Another knuckle made a spectacular pop. They were going to be lucky if they made it to the tenth, but Tsukiyama had no reason to spare them such optimism. Kaneki stayed where he was, even as the taller one came closer. Getting almost uncomfortably close to Kaneki's face, he sniffed at the air around him and looked to the sky, thinking.

All of a sudden, he withdrew, hopping back a few steps, forcing his partner to move back with him. His kagune emerged from his left shoulder; an ukaku with black, claw-like petals. Sensing his partner's distress, the short one acted instinctively and drew out his own kagune. Tsukiyama couldn't help but laugh when he saw the pitiful excuse for a koukaku. It looked like those muscles were for show, after all. Even a human could look muscular, but, with a pathetic koukaku like that, Tsukiyama doubted that he ever spent a moment using his kagune. A thing that small wasn't going to be able to guard him against anything.

“You're that guy,” the tall one accused, pointing at him. “You're the one who's been going around killing and cannibalizing ghouls at random, aren't you?”

Perplexed, Kaneki turned to him and Tsukiyama gave him a shrug. “We aren't doing anything at random. I told you. We're looking for someone, so we approach anyone who might be able to help us find him. If we have to ask every single ghoul in Japan, then... Well, I suppose there's no helping it.”

“You'd kill every ghoul just to find one guy?”

“That's how the process of elimination works.”

They had been backed into a corner. They didn't know anything about the doctor, so now their only choices were to lie or try to escape them. Neither of those things would work. Even those who had been of moderate help to them still met the same end. And it appeared that Kaneki was growing tired of their chatter. If they couldn't prove themselves to be useful, then it would end here, immediately.

“Hey, now wait a minute,” the tall one said, holding up his hands to show that he wouldn't attack. “If we don't know anything you can just let us go. I don't know who gave you the idea that we'd know something, but I can assure you that we're just two innocent guys. We don't know anything, and we're not interested in hurting anybody. See?”

His partner wasn't thrilled with this tactical retreat. He went to punch him in the arm but missed, too blinded by his own drunken haze to tell where he was standing. “What do you think you're doing, man? Don't give in to this little kid. Aren't you a man? What the hell's wrong with you? Take him out! Show him not to mess with you!”

At least one of them was smart enough to try to think of a way to save his own life. The other was just stupid.

“Would you shut up?” he shouted, surprising the lot of them. With a hard backhand, he sent his partner staggering to the side.

Silence followed his outburst. Once it had time to settle in, making the tall one look visibly more nervous, Kaneki tilted his head back and laughed. He took the photos from his pocket and threw them at the men's feet.

“Innocent?” Kaneki laughed. “I have evidence that says otherwise.”

Cautiously, the man bent down and picked up one of the photos, shaking his head as he looked at it. “Wh... Who took these?”

“Just my little bird,” Tsukiyama said, examining his nails. He really didn't expect this to take so long. He wanted to finish them already so he could get on with his night, but there was a part of him that did enjoy watching this scene unfold. The more they talked, the more aggravated Kaneki became. Rather than slice their heads off himself, he wanted to see Kaneki unleash his wrath upon them after showing them the evidence of their own wrong-doings.

At last, they made their appearance.

Kaneki's kagune bloomed from his lower back and burst to life; the four of them raised menacingly around him, ready to strike down his prey.

“That isn't what you should be concerned about right now. I suggest you use this time to decide your last words instead,” he told them.

The shorter one grabbed the photos out of his hands and looked at them, squinting at the images. “How the hell does this prove we're guilty of anything? This is just a picture of us eating. I don't like the idea of somebody taking a picture like this either, but there's nothing in this picture that you haven't done before yourself, right?”

“Me?” Another knuckle was popped, raising the count to five. At this rate, they weren't going to make it to six. “You think I'd eat a child?”

The baldy laughed, shrugged as if he didn't have a care. “That's rich, coming from the guy who's known for eating other ghouls. You've got much more unique tastes than us, kid.”

“You really can't tell the difference...” Kaneki's kagune relaxed, but Tsukiyama saw the way his eyes narrowed, could feel his hunger rising. “We only kill those who are guilty. I'd much rather eat someone who can at least put up a fight. So, for both of our sakes, show me how much you value your life.”

The more sober one of the two seemed to realize what a bad direction this was heading in because of his foolish friend's big mouth. He once again tried to lay his hands on his friend's shoulders and back them away. “L-look, kid- uh... Centipede, right? I think that's what people've been calling you. Look, it doesn't have to be this way. What if we promise not to eat anymore kids?”

“Defend yourselves or die without resistance.”

Clicking his tongue, the tall one made a break for it, choosing to run rather than wait around and see whether Kaneki made good on his threat. He was an ukaku-type, which meant that he was an awfully fast bugger, but he couldn't compare to other, stronger ukaku whom Kaneki had fought in the past. Tsukiyama was tempted to catch him for him, but he knew that he would only embarrass himself. For a koukaku-type, he felt like he was especially light on his feet, but he still wasn't fast enough to catch up to an ukaku who was already running away.

Besides, how own adversary was in front of him still, too drunk and stupid to realize that he didn't stand a chance. He was standing there with his mouth open, watching his partner as he sprinted swiftly down the alley toward the street.

Heaving a sigh, Kaneki shot one of his kagune's tentacles after him. With training, he had been able to extend it farther and farther, so, at this point, it was nothing for him to impale him upon it even from halfway down the alley.

His partner growled, holding up his kagune in front of him like a shield.

Laughing, Tsukiyama withdrew his own, dwarfing the other man's koukaku with its sheer enormity. He was visibly intimidated, stepping back, nearly tripping over his own feet. “Wh-what the hell are you guys?”

Tsukiyama tapped a finger against his mask, frowning, disappointed that he wasn't recognized. He gestured toward Kaneki. “This would be the SS rank Centipede, and I,” he brought that hand to his own chest, “am the S rank Gourmet. Tell me, would you – if there's a part of you worth salvaging, where would it be? Your arms, maybe? You look like you lift. Perhaps I'll take those first.”

“You've gotta be fucking kidding me,” the man cursed, finally looking like he was ready to fight, assuming a sloppy stance. His height and figure gave him no sense of grace at all.

Not compared to Kaneki who looked so beautiful, so calm on the outside despite his intent to kill. Tsukiyama watched him fondly as Kaneki reeled in the other man like a helpless little fish caught on a hook. He squirmed and struggled, clinging to life as he was hoisted into the air between the three of them. Blood gushed from the wound in his middle where Kaneki was impaling him, flooding down Kaneki's kagune, bathing it an even deeper red. With each ghoul he slayed, its color only seemed to become more brilliant. It made Tsukiyama's heart swell. It felt like he was witnessing Kaneki's evolution; the very moment when he became more delicious.

Kaneki curled his kagune, making sure that he suffered as much as possible. After punching him through like that, his spine would be hopeless. Even if Kaneki let him go, he wouldn't be able to escape unless he could somehow regenerate quickly enough.

“I wish I could show you the sort of terror those children must have felt,” he said, keeping his eyes on him, emotionless. “Do you have any final words?”

Nothing but broken sounds and gurgling noises passed from his throat when he tried to speak, so they both assumed that he might not be able to say anything. However, as Kaneki tightened his hold, he finally coughed up a lungful of blood and yelled, full of rage, showing his true self.

“F-fuck you, monster!”

Kaneki didn't take kindly to being spoken to that way. “Monsters like you deserve only one thing: to be torn apart, eaten, and returned to the earth as shit.”

Whipping his kagune back, then snapping it forward, he used the full weight of his body to slam him into the ground, instantly snapping his neck with a crunch that reverberated off the walls that surrounded them. After that, the man didn't speak again.

Slowly, Kaneki let go of him and withdrew his kagune. Bringing it close, he ran his tongue over the end of it, tasting the blood on its surface.

“Disgusting.”

One down. One more to go...

Their remaining lead looked ready to piss himself.

“I must say,” Tsukiyama observed, “this might be the most calm I've ever seen you, Kaneki-kun.”

“Calm?” he asked. A tremble began in his shoulders which soon turned into a quake as he shook with laughter. Apparently this calm exterior was just hiding the familiar, deranged lust for blood that lurked within him. It must have been awoken and unleashed when he let himself taste his blood. Now his eye shone with a dangerous, demonic gleam as he stared at the prey who remained.

“Would you like me to cut him up for you; make him easier for you to eat?” Tsukiyama offered.

“No... You stay back... He's mine, too. Hungry... So hungry...”

He was salivating, drool rolling down the bottom of his mask, dripping onto the ground, getting lost in the pool of blood that spread from the still-warm body of his first victim. Tsukiyama really wanted to help him refine his tastes, but this was cute in a way. Kaneki had just said how disgusting the first one tasted, but he was already getting so excited over the second. He was like a little kid sometimes, but that stood to reason. Since he hadn't been a ghoul for very long, this was still a new experience for him. Each person held a unique flavor for him to taste. It was a long time ago, but Tsukiyama felt like he could still remember a time before he refined his tastes as a gourmet, when he would've been as easily satisfied by whatever his parents gave him to eat.

It was rude of him to offer his help. He wanted Kaneki to enjoy himself.

Before the short man could do a thing to defend himself, Kaneki was already upon him, leaping at him like a wild, ferocious beast. It wouldn't have been a wise move against a more experienced adversary, but this man was nothing. He went down with a humiliating scream. Tsukiyama was standing right there, but he didn't feel the need to help, even when he saw the man raise his kagune to strike. Kaneki may have looked like he was lost in a frenzy, but he was more aware of himself than ever.

His kagune grabbed the man's raised arm and wrapped around both his arm and kagune. Holding them firmly, Kaneki stared down at him with a wide grin and watched his face as he twisted the tentacle that held them, breaking his arm in more than one place, shattering the man's kagune along with it.

“Let me go!” he screamed. “I just came out to have a good time tonight! I don't deserve this! I didn't do anything to you!”

Kaneki slapped his cheek lightly, forcing him to look at him even though the pain made him want to close his eyes. “If I weren't here, then who would take revenge for those children? You ate them. Back then, they couldn't fight back, and they certainly can't fight back now. I'm only giving you what you gave them. It's the least I can do.”

He must have known that he couldn't escape now, so he continued to blab, asking stupid questions.

“You didn't know those kids. They were humans! Who cares? Why do you care about what happened to them?”

This fool hadn't realized that he just stuck his foot in his mouth.

“Why do I care? Why do I care...?” Kaneki echoed, releasing the crushed arm and kagune from his grasp. “You should... Stop talking now.”

“Yeah! You're a ghoul, aren't you? If you saw a tender little treat cross your path with no one else around, you would've done the same thing!”

Kaneki grabbed the man's face, pressing his fingers into his skin. “I said _shut up,_ ” he growled.

Opening his mouth wide, Kaneki snapped his jaws around his neck, tearing out his throat. Now he wouldn't have to worry about him saying a single word more. Blood sprayed from the wound he inflicted, painting Kaneki's face and hair. The man's body convulsed as he immediately went into shock, but the wound was still trying to repair itself. Noticing that, Kaneki stopped it before it could continue, tearing into the flesh, mauling his throat open to the bone. Hunched over him on all fours, he continued to feast on the man's gored throat, pulling off more meat than his body was able to regenerate. After less than a minute, his body stopped shaking and he lay completely still.

Tsukiyama wandered around the scene, observing the remains of the other man while Kaneki continued to feed. Dropping the leather bag onto a spot on the ground that was relatively blood-free, he crouched next to the body. Seeing as how it was just a corpse now, he didn't feel any guilt in taking a peek at what was under the man's clothes. The zipper on the front of his jacket was a mess. Half of it was missing from the hole Kaneki had punched through his stomach. Unzipping it would be hopeless, so he used his kagune instead, sliding it underneath the front of his jacket and what remained of his shirt, using it like a knife to slice it open.

He really wished that Kaneki had chosen a different method of disposal. Most of this man's best parts were missing because of the way he gored him. Even if the prey hadn't worked out a day in their life, organs were always a safe delicacy. He didn't know what they had just consumed in that club, but he knew how often they frequented the place, so he wasn't going to take his liver or his kidneys. His heart, lungs, and tongue all looked like possibilities, though.

If they had the time, he would consider his feet. He didn't feel like walking home with another ghoul's head in his bag, so he was going to forgo any of its parts. He didn't have a safe place to store the eyes anyway. Next time, he thought, he would have to remember to bring a jar.

When he finally turned back around to see how Kaneki was doing, he found him sitting over the body, his face completely covered in blood, the front of his shirt and shorts drenched. Sighing, Tsukiyama pushed himself up and went to him.

“I can't believe you ate so much of him. Didn't you say he tasted disgusting? The throat, too... Really not the best choice.”

Kaneki was looking more subdued now. Sitting up, he leaned back, taking in a deep breath. He stood, his movements languid, his kagune relaxed at his sides.

“Tsukiyama-san...” he murmured dizzily, turning to look at him.

Something felt odd, but Tsukiyama's heart still throbbed when he heard Kaneki speak his name with such a soft and affectionate voice.

“Look at you,” Tsukiyama said gently, admiring his blood-soaked appearance. “You're going to have to clean your mask as soon as we get back, otherwise it's just going to dry on it and you'll never get it off. Come here.” He held open his arms, wishing for him to come closer so he could wipe some of it off for him.

Unexpectedly, Kaneki came closer and placed his hands on his shoulders. Tsukiyama's mind instantly began to fly toward every possibility. He couldn't believe that Kaneki would be giving him a hug. He sort of looked like he might be coming in for a kiss, but there was something about the look in his eyes that seemed unusual. A light sigh escaped him as Kaneki's hands slid beneath the front of his jacket, and he began to sputter as Kaneki started unbuttoning the front of his shirt.

“R-right now, Kaneki-kun? At a time like this?”

Kaneki wasn't hearing him. Pushing open his shirt, he leaned forward and Tsukiyama felt his lips, soft and somewhat damp with blood and who-knows-what running gently over his throat, slowly moving lower. Sighing again, Tsukiyama tried to relax, telling himself to let go of the odd, persistent worry at the back of his mind.

However, Tsukiyama's eyes flew open wide when Kaneki reached his chest, feeling the sensation of something sharp piercing his skin. That was a little more than a 'love bite'.

“Kaneki...?”

Kaneki's kagune whipped against the ground as he sunk his teeth into his skin. The pain couldn't compare to bigger wounds Tsukiyama had sustained in the past, but it certainly stung, and the sensation of someone else's teeth digging into his skin was rather unsettling. As well as a gourmet, he'd considered himself a hunter for the longest time; selectively choosing his prey with the harshest of criteria. He was also aware that Kaneki had matured from a cub into a lion, and, while he'd thought about what it would be like to be devoured by him, he hadn't seriously considered it as a reality. And now this was where they were.

Wrapping two of his kagune tentacles around Tsukiyama's ankles, he gave them a tug and dropped him to the ground. Ears ringing, head throbbing where it connected with the pavement, Tsukiyama didn't have the chance to right himself before Kaneki was on top of him, pinning him to the ground. The tentacles around his ankles stayed where they were, but Kaneki appeared to be too preoccupied with his feast to bind his hands.

It looked like he was trying to restrain himself, but he kept eating, pushing open Tsukiyama's shirt to try some of the flesh on his stomach as the wound on his chest began to slowly close itself.

“Ah...” Tsukiyama knew there was a reason why he didn't feel afraid. There was a part of him that felt a little frightened, of course, but he wasn't fearing for his life. It shook him to see Kaneki acting so aggressively, was surprised when he suddenly turned on him, but he could tell that Kaneki wasn't interested in killing him. “You must be sick of all these foul ghouls,” he concluded, stroking a hand gently through Kaneki's matted hair. “You just want to eat something good for a change. I understand. I know I taste quite good.”

As though he just realized where he was and what he was doing, Kaneki sat up, sitting himself down on Tsukiyama's legs. He looked down at the wound he left on his stomach as it sealed itself.

“Tsukiyama... san...”

He didn't say any more, but Tsukiyama could guess what he was thinking. Kaneki looked surprised by his own actions. Feeling bewildered by his own lack of control, he was unable to even utter an apology, still staring at the spot on Tsukiyama's stomach after it had closed.

“I admit, you surprised me, but you should know that I'm charmed by everything you do. I'd been wondering what you would think of my flavor anyway.”

Contemplating his answer, Kaneki ran his tongue over his lips, licking off the blood around his mouth. His eyes looked a little hungry, but he was acting more calm now, his hunger sated for the most part. “Not bad.”

Tsukiyama made an indignant noise, aghast. “Just _not bad_? This might be an odd thing to feel disappointed about, but I feel disappointed...”

As if he hadn't been confused enough for one night, Kaneki suddenly lifted up the bottom of his hoodie and lifted it over his head without even unzipping it, then tossed it aside. Tsukiyama didn't know what was going on anymore, but he was very interested in knowing where this was heading. He could feel something pressing against his leg and glanced down, noticing the way the front of Kaneki's shorts were tented. Teasingly, he moved his leg, rubbing it against him, watching as Kaneki responded to the stimulation.

“I'm so forgetful sometimes. I didn't get to repay the favor for you yet,” Tsukiyama said.

Screw his suit. He didn't care what Kaneki had to do to his clothes to get them off. Kaneki pulled his pants down but struggled when he had to figure out how to untie his shoes. Lacking the patience, he tried yanking one off without unlacing it, nearly twisting Tsukiyama's right ankle in the process.

“A-allow me, Kaneki-kun,” he said, wincing as he tried to forcefully pry it off before finally giving up. “You take care of your own clothes and I'll take care of mine.”

With patience that Kaneki didn't seem capable of, Tsukiyama tugged the laces loose and had the first shoe off in a matter of seconds without any fuss. Looking at the ground around them, he grimaced, hesitant to set down his socked foot in the mess of blood and guts. His pants, jacket, and shirt were already a hopeless cause, but he would prefer to walk home in socks that didn't uncomfortably stick to his toes every time he took a step, so he pulled off his sock and tucked it into his shoe. He could see that Kaneki was already finished removing as much clothes as he was comfortable with, so he pushed his pants off one leg and let them hang from the other.

“Are you really sure about doing this here? I was wondering if you'd like to come back to my place with me tonight. We could do whatever you want there-”

“I'm not waiting,” Kaneki said, allowing for no arguments, roughly pushing his shoulders back down to the ground.

Tsukiyama could feel the blood on the ground soaking through his hair, warm and sticky, but he wasn't able to think about that for much longer before all thoughts were stolen from his head by Kaneki's lips. He still had out his kagune, and he wasn't sure what to do with it now that it wasn't needed. He couldn't necessarily use it as an extra limb the way that Kaneki could with his. It served him well as a shield, a sword, or even as a knife, but that was where its functions ended.

Just as he was about to put it away, he felt one of Kaneki's touch it, tentatively feeling around its surface. At first, he wasn't sure what to make of it. Kaneki's nails were still digging into his shoulders as he pressed him down and he was still busy tangling their tongues together, but his kagune appeared to have a mind of its own. It wasn't trying to bind him. Instead, it seemed curious, touching him delicately... erotically.

“K-Kane...”

There wasn't any point in hiding how he responded to its touch. When Kaneki wanted, he could make his kagune hard enough run someone through, but when it was relaxed, its surface felt velvety soft. Feeling it twining between the curls of his own kagune, Tsukiyama couldn't resist the pleasured moan that left his lips as he felt it stroke along its sensitive underside.

Pulling back, Kaneki looked at him, raking his eyes over his body.

“You look like a mess right now. I think I like you like this. It feels right to see the outside of you looking just as messed up as the person I'm familiar with on the inside,” he said.

Again, Tsukiyama knew that he should feel offended by such a remark, but it only made him harder.

Kaneki grasped his chin, making sure he looked at him as he rubbed their kagune together. “Does that feel good to you? You got quiet all of a sudden. You're normally so mouthy. The only time you shut up is when you've got food in your mouth... or when I do something you really like.”

He couldn't say otherwise. The exterior of his kagune was flexible, but it was hard, rough, and dull to sensations. He wouldn't have been able to properly protect himself if he felt every harsh blow. In comparison, however, the underside was surprisingly sensitive. If someone's attack made it through his kagune's exterior defense, he would surely feel it. On a few occasions when he had some time alone, he played with it, but he was never able to touch with his own hands in a way that felt wholly satisfying.

“Your kagune-” he moaned, his hips squirming anxiously, his cock stiff and twitching against his stomach. “It fits just right.”

The twisted smile returned to Kaneki's face. He placed his hands against his chest and played his fingers through the blood he'd left behind, coating his hands in it. Tsukiyama didn't need to ask what he intended to do with that. He thought he'd brought everything but the kitchen sink in that bag, but he hadn't considered bringing anything like _that_ with him. Why would he have? Any amount of common sense would've told him that doing this in a place where they could be seen was a bad idea.

If someone saw them having sex in a back alley, that would've been embarrassing, yes, but they were about to fuck right next to the corpses of two men they had just killed...

“Kaneki, I hate to ask again, but are you sure this is a good-”

“You forgot the 'kun' again,” he admonished, pushing two of his fingers inside of him without a second's warning.

A surprised noise made it past Tsukiyama's lips, but a little pain like that was nothing he couldn't handle. Even the thought of Kaneki's blood-covered fingers inside of him didn't bother him when he knew that the blood was his own. At the sudden intrusion, his eyes had closed on their own, but he opened them now to watch Kaneki as he moved his fingers inside of him. His face and mask were splotched with blood, and his hair was looking more red than white, but the rest of him that had been covered by his suit was hilariously untouched.

He was doing his own thing. Tsukiyama could still see that look in his ghoul eye; the look of someone who was focused solely on one thing. He couldn't stop him now even if he wanted to. If he tried to struggle or get away from him, he would probably find himself with one of those tentacles through his chest, and he really didn't like the sound of that. The fear of being seen was strong, but the things Kaneki's kagune was doing with his own was enough to distract him from those thoughts.

He placed his free hand against Kaneki's shoulder as the fingers inside of him were removed, clenched them slightly as he felt Kaneki align the head of his cock with his entrance. Kaneki had prepared him roughly, but he was glad that he'd bothered to prepare him at all. His insides ached as he felt the full length of his cock enter him, but he knew that it could've been much worse if he'd blindly pushed it in instead.

Closing his eyes, he tilted his head to the side, the bare side of his face resting in someone's blood as he tried to get his heartbeat under control. As he began to relax, the smell of blood and raw meat met his nose and combined with the unique scent of the one crouched above him. It was absurd and obscene and entirely unwise, but he realized that there was a part of him that loved this. This was far from the way that he would normally do things, but it was like Kaneki was showing him their reality. This was what they were. People with their level of power didn't need to hide.

Opening his eyes slowly, sighing through his nose, Tsukiyama looked at the gored body of the one whose throat Kaneki had torn out.

At that moment, he'd never felt so glad to be a ghoul.

More importantly, he was glad to be who he was. If he were anyone else, he might not have met Kaneki. Worse, he might have encountered him the way these men had. How sad his life would've been to be unaware of fine tastes and Kaneki's benevolence. Never would he have known the things that he deemed life worth living for.

Moaning loud enough for the whole street to hear, he put his leg around Kaneki's anchoring them together, his bare foot planted firmly on the ground. If they were going to do this, then they might as well go all the way. The more that scent infiltrated his senses, the more he felt his consciousness warping, pushing him into the same headspace Kaneki was currently occupying. Kaneki reacted to the sounds he made, thrusting harder, slamming into a place inside of him that filled his head with stars. Growling, Kaneki grabbed the hand on his shoulder and forced it to the ground above Tsukiyama's head. It might not have been a conscious decision, but their fingers ended up locked as he held it there, and Tsukiyama gripped his hand back.

“Bite me.”

For a second, Tsukiyama wasn't sure what he'd just heard.

He turned his head to look at him and carefully read his face. Based on everything he could gather from his expression, Kaneki looked serious about what he said. He tilted his head, presenting his neck for him, and Tsukiyama's mind went white.

“I know how you are. You won't stoop to eat either of these guys here. After what I did to you, I just wanna make sure you'll have enough energy to make it back home. So go on. I'll let you have a little bite.”

Gazing at the pale skin of Kaneki's throat, streaked with someone else's blood, Tsukiyama's stomach growled. He wanted to eat him. Of course he wanted to eat him. But if he let himself taste him now, he wasn't sure he would be able to control himself. After the first bite, he would want another and another and he couldn’t allow that. He didn't want Kaneki to see him lose himself.

“I... prefer to eat with a fork,” he said, finding an excuse.

Still moving his hips, Kaneki leaned in to graze his teeth over the sensitive spot he'd attacked on his chest earlier. He glanced up at him. “Are you afraid of getting a little blood on your face, Tsukiyama-san? It's just the two of us. You don't have to pretend to be a gentleman in front of me. Look at the position you're in here already.”

“Of course not...” Hell, he'd already seen him with blood on his face before anyway... Though he sincerely hoped that Kaneki would forget about that someday so he could eat him properly. Until then, maybe this wasn't such a bad idea. It'd be like a little snack to hold him over. Kaneki was even being kind enough to offer it himself. It was hard to believe, but that was the reality of it.

Why was he hesitating again...?

Ah... Yes... His mouth was watering. That was why.

“I'll... try not to go too far, then. Just a bite, right? Just...”

Breathing roughly through his nose, he came a little closer to Kaneki's offered shoulder. Just touching his tongue to his skin, he felt his cock jerk and drip. It hadn't even been touched yet, but this situation had been assaulting his senses for long enough to make him feel like it would take very little to make him come. Kaneki would probably laugh at him if he came so soon, but he loved Kaneki's laugh.

With his heart in his throat, he closed his teeth around Kaneki's shoulder. He opened his jaw too wide. He could already tell that the bite was going to be too large, but there was nothing he could do about that now. His eyes rolled back in his head as Kaneki's blood spilled around his teeth and filled his mouth. With all of his strength, his jaw snapped shut, taking a big chunk of Kaneki's shoulder along with it. It was quite the mouthful. It wasn't that easy to chew it, especially while laying on his back, but any discomfort was outweighed by the ecstasy he was filled with when his mouth was filled with Kaneki's taste.

At the back of his mind, he realized that Kaneki was saying something. He felt him punch him in the face, but no punch would've been strong enough to make him spit out the savory piece of him he was coveting.

“Stupid food-crazy bastard,” Kaneki muttered. He pried his hand out of Tsukiyama's and placed it against his shoulder, hissing as it worked to close itself.

Watching it close, a part of him snapped. Tsukiyama wasn't ready to let it close just yet. He still wanted more. The part of him that held his reason had been trampled. Unable to stop himself, he flew toward Kaneki's shoulder, his mouth open wide.

“You had your bite,” Kaneki said, pushing at his head, trying to hold him back. “You haven't even swallowed it all yet, have you?”

He hadn't, but... He wanted even more. He couldn't get enough of his taste. He'd missed it so much.

Whimpering in disappointment, he laid back and chewed the piece in his mouth in silence.

Kaneki grasped his hips and continued thrusting, letting out a pleased sigh as he looked down at his obedient face. “Well? At least tell me it's everything you hoped it'd be.”

Swallowing, Tsukiyama laid still, looking up at the grey clouds in the sky as they moved away from the moon. The ones moving over them looked thick. If they didn't leave soon, they were going to get caught in a downpour. At least it would wash the blood off them...

“I feel hungry.”

The way Kaneki looked at him, it looked like he was absorbing what he said. Ultimately, Kaneki must've realized what he was thinking because a grin crossed his face.

It was no wonder he hesitated. Now he understood.

A flavor like Kaneki's was one of a kind.

His stomach roiled; hungry and sick. This wasn't the time for him to realize something like this.

“I wish I could eat you and eat you and eat you forever,” he said, gently tracing his fingers over Kaneki's mask.

It wasn't fair, but he was the one who had allowed things to become like this. Kaneki was aware of the power he had over him now. That taste was what he lived for. Kaneki's sudden decision to let him have a taste wasn't just an unusual sort of kindness; he wanted him to remember what he couldn't have. Even if he could have him, even if he ate all of him, it made him realize that he would be cornering himself. With that taste lingering on his tongue, Tsukiyama's back had already been pressed against a dead end. He would never find a flavor like his again.

Everything else would taste like dirt in comparison.

“Tsukiyama-san.”

He looked up, realizing that he'd become distracted.

“You realize what this means, don't you?” Kaneki asked, coming closer, rubbing his bloody cheek against the flat side of his mask as he moved his lips to his ear. “You can't kill me.”

There was no way for him to reply to that without embarrassing himself because he was right. He wanted to eat him, but he didn't want to finish him. What he wanted was a paradox; an endless meal. There were other ways for him to satisfy himself, he desperately tried to make himself believe. Head aching, his brain tying itself in knots, he told himself that he didn't have to think about it for now. For now, he should just be satisfied. Kaneki let him have a bite and he didn't even punish him for how much he took.

Truly, he was becoming something greater, ascending, becoming something divine. All Tsukiyama wanted to do was worship him, to thank him for showing him the world's greatest flavor, for showing him his kindness, his fury, for allowing him to be with them, to stand side-by-side atop the piled skulls of ones he crushed.

“You're so much more,” he said, finally answering Kaneki's question.

Breathing in the damp night air, he put his free arm around Kaneki's shoulder, wrapped his legs around him tightly, and surrendered himself to their decadence. Following his reply, Kaneki's movements became more aggressive, but it seemed like he was pleased with his answer. The look in his dark eye said everything. He was high on his power. Inside of him somewhere was the innocent Kaneki, but that part of him hid while his ruthless side rampaged.

Like this, he could take whatever he wanted. At the moment, Tsukiyama felt happy to let him have anything.

“You'd probably cum if I told you to,” he said, letting go of his hip to run one finger lightly along his cock. He'd already come earlier, but the need was even stronger than before. Indeed, just hearing Kaneki suggest that he could come that easily made him feel like he was on the edge. He wanted it to last longer, felt disappointed for letting himself waste so much time earlier thinking about unimportant things when he could have been focused on what Kaneki was doing, but there was no helping it now. Kaneki was right.

“I...”

He let go of Kaneki's shoulder to place his hand over his mouth, moaning as Kaneki's kagune slithered around his own, reminding him of the intense pleasure he rarely felt. It was too late now. With Kaneki thrusting into his most sensitive spot, his kagune, slippery with blood and mucus, sliding around his, Tsukiyama felt his pleasure crest, then crash down upon him like a wave, seizing his whole body. He shook powerfully, held still by Kaneki's hands.

It wasn't until he felt Kaneki give a few final deep thrusts that he felt his own orgasm subside.

His head felt like a mess. Laying on the ground without anything to support his head sent too much blood to his head, so when he tried to sit up, he immediately gave up and laid back down, seeing white and black static grain appear before his eyes. His body was still thrumming with the lingering warmth of his climax. Letting his limbs relax, he just laid there for a while, enjoying the feeling that remained, sighing as Kaneki pulled away.

As Kaneki's kagune untangled from his and retreated back into his body, Tsukiyama tiredly retracted his own, feeling oddly unhappy that they weren't locked together any longer. It had felt so nice to have someone else's held around his.

When he opened his eyes again, he noticed that Kaneki finally seemed to realize what they had just done, recognizing it for the awful idea that it was.

“We better get dressed,” he said, and hastily got on his feet and began picking up his clothes.

Tsukiyama followed him with his eyes as he retrieved the leather bag from where he'd left it. After he brought it over, he knelt and unzipped it, taking out their change of clothes. Slowly, with a hand to his head, Tsukiyama held out his other hand to accept the things he was pulling out of it for him. After finally forcing himself to get up, they found a spot on the ground that was more or less blood-free and began cleaning themselves up.

Helping Kaneki take off his mask, Tsukiyama grabbed one of the cloths and used it to wipe the blood off his face.

“Don't worry about me,” Kaneki muttered, batting at his hand, too relaxed after what they'd done to sound more firm about it. “Clean yourself up instead. And put some new pants on.”

He couldn't help it that he wanted to help Kaneki. The thought of sharing a bath with him sounded highly appealing. If he couldn't help clean him up now, then perhaps he would propose the idea to him later, after they were out of here.

Doing as he was told, he removed the rest of his blood-stained clothes and hoped that nobody would come upon them _now_ after everything was over and found him completely stark naked. That would've been embarrassing. At least he had his mask to protect him. Having finished cleaning his face, Kaneki pulled his mask back over his face, but his hair was still red with blood. His hood would've been able to hide it before, but even his hoodie had been covered in it.

They would have to think more carefully about the things they wore next time, especially if they ended up doing _that_ again.

He cleaned himself to the best of his ability, and began to redress, but his hands stalled when he reached his pants. As he busied himself, Kaneki watched him, curious what he was going to do, knowing that he would have to do something about the cum he left inside of him. By now, he knew that he couldn't get out of this easily and knew that Kaneki wouldn't turn around if he asked him to.

Carefully, he pushed two fingers inside of himself from behind, grateful to find that he still felt a slightly loose. Putting his fingers in his mouth crossed his mind for a flash, but he immediately crushed that idea. Even if he wanted to eat Kaneki's cum, there was a level to which he did not stoop. Most of the blood his fingers came away with probably belonged to him, but he didn't want to taste it if Kaneki's flavor had been tainted by the blood of their less than satisfactory prey.

As he wiped it off his fingers with the cloth he'd been using, he noticed that Kaneki looked a little disappointed.

After adjusting his clothes and fixing his hair, Tsukiyama finally retrieved the shoe he'd left off to the side that housed his sock. He was glad he had the foresight to take it off before he let himself step in anything unpleasant.

That was that. He took Kaneki's old clothes from him and folded them up and put them in the bag. Balling his clothes up alongside them, his hand brushed against something he almost forgot about.

“What's that?” Kaneki asked after he pulled a new shirt over his head, finally looking about as refreshed as he could short of a shower.

Tsukiyama lifted the item out of the bag; a strong nylon case that held ten perfectly polished professional carving knives. Flicking open the clasps on the outside, he unfolded it and showed them to him.

“I was thinking of taking some of your catch with us tonight. It may not be prime meat, but I admit that it would be a shame to let it go to waste. I'm sure I could improve the taste if I prepared it myself anyway,” he said, standing up with them in hand. “I was wondering if you would like to join me tonight. If you haven't filled yourself, maybe we could have dinner together?”

Kaneki nodded sooner than he expected. “Okay. I told myself I'd never accept another dinner invitation from you again, but I think you know what the score is now.”

That was a yes. He was so happy.

“I have some plastic wrap and tape in there. Mind bringing that over?” he asked as he approached the first man Kaneki had killed.

The bag was set down next to him and Kaneki crouched beside him, putting his hands on his knees. Taking a quick glance at him, Tsukiyama was amused to see Kaneki's nose wrinkle. “You should get this done quickly. I can't believe we haven't been seen yet. Pretty soon, someone will probably-”

Suddenly, Kaneki went stiff, picking up his head. Tsukiyama already had one of his knives in hand, but he stopped what he was doing to look around. He didn't see anyone, but Kaneki seemed to hear something. Lifting his head, he sniffed the air.

“It's a human,” Kaneki said quietly.

They had an intruder, but it wasn't a stranger.

Looking toward the corner where they had entered the back alley from, Tsukiyama raised his voice so he could be heard. “You can come out, little mouse.”

A camera flash lit up the alley. After the shadows rushed back in, a person then stood there; a small girl holding a camera, its strap draped around her neck.

“Hi,” she said, tilting her head arbitrarily, lifting the camera, snapping another photo.

“Chie...” Kaneki sighed. “I couldn't recognize your smell with these guys around here.”

She shrugged. “Don't worry about it.”

It was like she didn't realize that Kaneki was essentially admitting that he might've killed her if he hadn't realized who she was. She had always been the lackadaisical type, but it was bound to get her in trouble someday. It was bad enough that they were friends. Her curiosity towards other ghouls was extremely unhealthy. Others wouldn't find her as entertaining as he did.

“I'm glad you found someone,” she said. She turned the camera around in her hands, adjusting the lens.

Tsukiyama nearly spit. “Wh- Excuse me?”

He told her about Kaneki enough, but he hadn't told her about any of the things they'd been up to lately. For her to immediately assume that he and Kaneki were... _something_ while Kaneki was sitting right there...

Chie looked back up, having decided that her lens was fine as it was. “I'm glad you found someone to eat with. Kaneki and I have talked before. He's nice. I'm surprised.”

The things she just said gave him way too much to think about. For starters, he couldn't believe that he had misunderstood her the first time. It wasn't his fault, but he still felt stupid for turning red. More importantly, he couldn't remember when she would've spoken with Kaneki. She was a sneaky little mouse, so he didn't doubt that she could've come sneaking around the apartment while he wasn't around to catch her. Now he really wanted to know what they had talked about.

And what did she find surprising? That Kaneki was nice? That they were eating together?

She was just as bewildering as she'd always been. Whenever he finally thought he understood her, she'd say something that would confuse him all over again.

A much more important thought came to mind.

“Chie... How long were you standing there?”

Putting a finger to her lower lip in thought, she rolled her eyes to the sky. “Maybe... Ten minutes?”

Immediately, Tsukiyama dropped his knife and ran over to her, grabbing the camera from her hands, almost choking her as the strap was pulled against her throat. Ignoring her coughing, he flicked through the last dozen pictures she took, his mouth opening wider and wider in horror and embarrassment with each one.

“You need to delete these,” he said, staring at her, making sure she saw how serious he was.

She pried the camera from his hands and settled back on her feet, holding herself up at her full height. Despite how short she was, she knew how to look menacing when she wanted to. “You know I won't just delete them,” she said. “These are very important.”

She had pictures of them fucking in a bloody alley next to a pair of corpses. Yeah, those would definitely be important photos to someone, and he really didn't like the thought of them ending up in the wrong hands. ...And he also kind of wanted copies for himself.

“I... I'll give you fifty thousand for the lot of them.”

Kaneki shot up, no longer willing to be a silent observer to their conversation. “Whoa, excuse me. Chie, don't sell those to him.”

“Okay.”

“Wha-” Tsukiyama spun around and stared at Kaneki in disbelief. “What's wrong with you? Wouldn't you rather have them than let her keep them sitting around in a folder somewhere that could be accessed by the CCG someday?” He turned back at Chie. “Sixty thousand.”

Considering his offer, she looked at Kaneki as if waiting for his approval.

Letting his hands fall to his sides, Kaneki knelt back down next to the body. “Let him buy them. The pictures are mine, though. Every single one. Print them and hand deliver them to me, then delete them from your camera and computer.”

Smiling, she patted Tsukiyama on the arm. “See? He's nice. Ten thousand – and take me out for another sundae. I want to try the place that just opened near here, but you know how this area is.”

“Yeah, that's why you shouldn't be here in the first place. Are you trying to get yourself killed?” He wasn't going to question why she lowered the price by that much. If the familiar thing she was wearing were anything to go by, then she probably hadn't spent the last payment he'd made. If she kept catching him in compromising situations, though, it wasn't going to be long before she had all of his money anyway.

Satisfied with their deal, she turned around and started heading toward the street. “You two better get out of here. There are some girls who come in to work around this time and they use that door,” she said, pointing to the one across from them, at the back of the Chinese restaurant-slash-strip club. 

He wasn't going to bother asking how she knew that. Tsukiyama was just glad that he had some sort of timeframe to work with now.


	2. Protector

The next time he turned around, Chie had already disappeared, and he silently prayed that she would find her way home without running into any other ghouls.

As he returned to the body, Kaneki held out the knife he'd dropped. Accepting it, he crouched next to him and inspected the cavity around the middle of the body.

“You can use a knife on it?” Kaneki asked curiously.

“Of course,” he said. “Once a ghoul's dead, the RC cells don't act the way they used to. As I'm sure you can see here already, they aren't going to repair the body. That also means that my knife will cut through them easily.” To prove it, he tilted the man's head and opened his mouth. With just one slash, he had his tongue in his hand. Kaneki made a disgusted face as he handed it to him to wrap it up.

He retrieved whatever other parts looked usable from inside of him. After having to stuff their ruined clothes into the bag, there wasn't much space left for anything other than the organs he selected.

After cleaning off the knife and folding up the set, he helped Kaneki pack the meat away. “That will have to do for now. I do hope those girls won't be bothered by a little blood.”

Kaneki stood and looked around them. “It's more than just a little. But yeah. I feel bad for them. I feel like I'm getting used to this since the smell appeals to me now, but I'm sure it would be disgusting to a normal human.” He stopped and thought for a second. “Except for Chie, I guess. She didn't seem that bothered.”

Tsukiyama hoisted up the bag, now much heavier than before. “That's because she's used to being around me. Even when we first met, though, she seemed completely unafraid of me, so sometimes I wonder if she just has no sense of self-preservation.”

Whatever human stumbled upon their carnage would probably have no idea what had happened there. They would see the mutilated bodies of two ghouls and be afraid, but ultimately grateful that they were dead instead of alive. If a ghoul happened upon this scene, however, they would heed it as a warning. Though it was unlike him to gore a body the way Kaneki had, they would notice the missing organs and know that he was involved in this. The stupid CCG would realize nothing unless they figured out that there were two of them working together. If they tracked his movements as closely as he thought, then they probably thought he was starving.

Heading out of the alley, they passed by two girls in long coats and heels. Judging by their bare legs, Tsukiyama assumed they weren't wearing much beneath those coats. They had to be the ones Chie had been talking about. It was a good thing he and Kaneki got out of there when they did.

Kaneki stayed close to his side and they quickened their pace until they reached the street. When they hit the sidewalk, they heard a pair of screams from behind them and kept moving. Even though Kaneki still had some blood stuck to his hair, they hadn't seemed to notice them at all, happily chatting to themselves, wrapped up in their own world until they encountered the nightmare of the back alley. They wouldn't have to worry about them.

Once they were a few blocks away, Kaneki pawed at the bag and made him open it for him. “I left my phone in my hoodie,” he explained. Still watching, Tsukiyama held it open for him and Kaneki fished around inside until he produced his phone. “I just need to call Banjou to let them know where I am.”

Tsukiyama laughed. “He's not your dad. He doesn't need to know where you are.”

After quickly sending him an unamused look, he went back to his phone. “You'd want Hinami to know where I am at least, right?”

That little girl was alright by his book. If he caused her stress by keeping Kaneki out late, then he might feel a little bad.

Right as Kaneki was about to make a call, a droplet appeared at the center of his screen. Tilting his head back, he looked up to the sky as he walked and another drop hit him right on the nose. Tsukiyama watched him, silently entertained when he saw him flinch, smiling as he rubbed at the spot that had been hit. In just a matter of seconds, more and more drops began to fall. Before they had time to prepare themselves, the sky opened up and let loose, pouring rain upon their heads.

They broke into a sprint to try to outrun it, and Kaneki abandoned his call, sticking his phone in his pocket to keep it from getting wet.

“The station is close,” Tsukiyama said, trying to raise his voice to be heard over the rain.

Before they got there, they both removed their masks and crammed them into the bag with the rest of their things. Tsukiyama didn't enjoy having a second pair of clothes get ruined, but he was partially glad for the rain. Though he knew there wouldn't be many people at the station at this time, he worried about what they would think of the red in Kaneki's hair, but, just as he'd hoped, the rain helped to remove it.

By the time they reached the station, they looked like they had taken a shower outside; their clothing completely soaked, but not a trace of blood was left on them.

They made it to the train right on time, looking like two regular guys. Tsukiyama hadn't bothered bringing a new suit jacket with him, so at least he hadn't ruined a second one. The wine-colored shirt he had on now had turned an even deeper shade with the rain. Now that they had boarded the train safely and sat down on one of the many open seats, he let himself steal a glance at Kaneki's wet figure. His clothes were clinging to his body, and he looked pretty bothered, jittering from the chill he got when the drops on his skin met with the cold air of the train car, but Tsukiyama couldn't help but find the look appealing on him.

His new shirt was striped, predictably, but if he leaned forward a little... Tsukiyama was certain he might be able to catch a glimpse of something through one of those white stripes.

Kaneki sat back, folding his arms over his chest. “You aren't very subtle,” he said.

Sensing that he would get socked if he tried to take another peek at Kaneki's wet shirt, he decided to keep to his side of the seat and kept his eyes forward for the majority of the ride. Aside from the two of them, there were only a few other people in the train with them. A couple students sat together, sharing a pair of earbuds. There was an older man who kept falling in and out of sleep, holding his phone in a loose grip in his lap. The only other person on the train then was a young woman who looked like she didn't belong out at this time of the night.

As they neared their destination, he noticed that Kaneki was looking a little tired, but he woke up immediately when he heard the train braking in the station. They left the train just as wet and cold as they had been when they entered it, but at least it wasn't raining at their destination.

The walk to his apartment was uneventful. They passed by a few ghouls who looked at them curiously, but they didn't attack. Kaneki may have looked and smelled like a tasty midnight snack to them, but they knew better than to jump him while he had a strong-looking bodyguard by his side. He knew that Kaneki could more than take care of himself, but he enjoyed feeling useful.

Having anticipated that Kaneki would accept his invitation, Tsukiyama had made sure that his apartment was in impeccable condition. He usually kept things neat to start with, but he had been especially thorough when he cleaned it this time, making sure that Kaneki could only leave with an impressed impression of him. They passed by no one in the parking lot and no one in the halls. The unusual silence made him feel somewhat nervous, but he knew that it was just because he was about to introduce Kaneki to his home. It felt like such an intimate thing.

They would be alone. He reminded himself that he already had plans for dinner, but there was one thing he had a taste for; the only thing he ever had a taste for anymore. Ever since he met Kaneki, he felt himself slowly losing his appreciation for other meat. Having lived the gourmet life for years, his standards were ingrained. He would probably always know what to look for when choosing someone to pursue, but his specifications would gradually grow more particular over time, selecting rarer and rarer prey.

Kaneki had destroyed his expectations. They'd been set so high that he feared they could never be lowered again.

They stopped outside his door.

As he searched for his key in the bag, Kaneki turned to him, making sure to catch his eyes.

“It would be a shame for your neighbors if a body was found in this apartment.”

Tsukiyama jumped, almost dropping the keys when his fingers shook. Nervous sweat gathering at the back of his neck, he tried to pull his eyes away from Kaneki's but found it impossible to look away from him for too long, as if he were trapped by his eyes. They made him feel guilty, like Kaneki was accusing him of something. Kaneki may have been able to tell what he was thinking, but he hadn't done anything. His thoughts were just thoughts. He truly had no intention of eating him, if he could help it.

“I'm trying,” he said, gripping the handle of the bag with in his other hand. “You should believe in me more, Kaneki-kun. Is it so hard to believe that I just want to be with you tonight?”

That sounded...

It was hard for him to keep his hold on the bag when he heard what he'd just said. It felt like those words had come from someone else's mouth. It had certainly been what he'd intended to say, the thing he felt, but it sounded so...

Kaneki let out a curious breath, finally dropping his eyes, and moved aside to let Tsukiyama open the door.

That sound he made was going to bother Tsukiyama all night if he didn't ask him what that was supposed to mean – but he knew that he couldn't ask. Kaneki probably wouldn't have told him anyway. He quickly decided to give up on the idea and unlocked the door, holding it open for Kaneki to step inside first. Instead of accepting his courtesy, Kaneki stared at him and insisted that he go inside first, seeming suspicious that he might fall into a trap if he crossed the entrance before him. To prove that everything was safe while simultaneously feeling disappointed that he had to prove it at all, Tsukiyama entered first and walked a few steps into the apartment to show him that there was nothing in the dark that waited for him except an empty apartment.

There was no light except for the one light Tsukiyama left on over the sink in the kitchen. It didn't throw light very far, but it always gave him just enough to find the light switch on the wall inside the entrance. He didn't turn on that one, though. For this romantic occasion, he enjoyed the shadows. Carefully, he set down the bag that held their belongings and their special catch. Feeling his way through the dark living room, he turned on the lamp near the couch and it instantly filled the room with the sort of sensual atmosphere he was looking for. Its warm light gently graced every surface as it illuminated the room.

Rather than ask, Kaneki locked the door behind himself. As he came over to join him, his eyes roamed over every inch of the apartment that he was able to see, glancing at the still-dark kitchen to his right and the closed doors to his left.

Kaneki's eyes fell on the couch, but he hesitated to sit down.

“I'm still kind of... damp.”

“C'est vrai. I'm still a bit soggy, too.” While they were on the train, his thoughts had been so focused on the way that he would prepare their meal that he hadn't even thought about what they would do about their wet clothes. Neither of them had expected that they would need a third set of clean clothes. That would've been a silly assumption to make, but it didn't seem so silly now that they were both standing damp and chilly in the middle of his living room.

He wanted to eat Kaneki, yes, but Tsukiyama didn't think himself a cruel person. He wouldn't let Kaneki stay in those wet clothes. The obvious conclusion was that he was going to have to let him borrow some of his own. If he gave him something comfortable to wear, that might even help Kaneki decide whether he wanted to spend the night...

“How about this,” he suggested. “You can go ahead and use the shower and I'll set out something for you to wear. While you're cleaning up, I can start on dinner.”

Kaneki looked at him, up and down. “You're going to work on dinner _like this?_ ”

What else was he supposed to do? Wait for Kaneki to shower, then go in after him and force him to sit around and wait by himself while he showered? Dinner wasn't going to make itself, and Tsukiyama didn't like the thought of abandoning his guest for any length of time like that.

“Just do it with me,” Kaneki said.

Tsukiyama was afraid he wasn't quite picking up what Kaneki was putting down.

“I'm not going to make the offer twice.”

Judging by the soft red creeping upon Kaneki's cheeks and his inability to maintain eye contact with him, it was like he was suggesting that they shower together. Tsukiyama let that possibility roll around in his head for a little until the moment started to become awkward, forcing him to respond. Kaneki was definitely telling him that he thought they should shower together. He didn't understand why Kaneki, who was normally so cold to him, would throw him such an offer, but he wasn't going to let it fall out of his hands.

“Yes,” Tsukiyama answered quickly, just tossing a word out to make sure that Kaneki wouldn't change his mind before he could formulate a more proper response. “I would enjoy that- I mean... It's a good idea. That way, we aren't wasting any time, oui? We won't have to worry about the order of things at all if we do it this way.”

Kaneki shrugged, acting uncommitted to this idea, just willing to go along with it as if he weren't the one to have suggested it in the first place. “Whatever you say.”

Being in someone else's home must have made him feel nervous. Kaneki acted like a king wherever they went, but that veneer seemed to have dropped the second he entered the apartment. He held his arms close to his body, closing himself off as his eyes continued to dart around the room. A moment ago, Tsukiyama had thought that he might be afraid that he had planted a trap for him, but Kaneki didn't seem afraid at all. Rather, he looked like a house cat in an unfamiliar home; skittish and uncertain of how to act in a new place.

It was sort of cute. Tsukiyama smiled. “You can relax, Kaneki-kun.”

His eyes widened a little, but his expression instantly went back to the way it had been, pretending that he hadn't been surprised by Tsukiyama's observation. “What makes you think I'm not relaxed?” he asked.

“It's just my impression,” he said, coming around him. Kaneki's eyes followed him and he let out a quiet, surprised sound when he felt Tsukiyama's hands touch his shoulders, jolting slightly under his touch. His shirt was still quite wet, but he could feel the heat coming from Kaneki's skin. Gently, he kneaded his shoulders between his fingers, finding them to be just as stiff as he expected. “Is there anything I can do to help you relax?”

Eyes searching the floor, Kaneki kept still, thinking. “...There isn't. Not really, anyway. It's just-”

“Hm?” Tsukiyama leaned a little closer, curious of where he was going with that thought, nearly touching their cheeks together.

“It's creepy, isn't it?” he asked, breaking out of his hold. He gestured wildly at the entirety of his living room. “Everything's so clean. It's weird. It's like nobody lives here. Places like this creep me out.”

So that was what he had been trying to say. Tsukiyama's thoughts hadn't been that far off the mark, but it was still sort of shocking to hear the specifics. He spent a lot of time cleaning it up in order to make a good impression, but he ended up creeping him out instead. It figured. Every time he tried to make a conscious effort to impress Kaneki, his plans usually failed for one reason or another. Thinking about it that way, it made him worried that Kaneki wasn't going to enjoy dinner, either.

He couldn't just sit down and give up, though.

“You'll probably find the bedroom more to your liking, then,” he said, removing his hands from Kaneki's shoulders, stepping around to stand in front of him. “It's where I spend most of my time. I'm only one person, you know. It's hard for me to 'live' in every corner of a big apartment like this all by myself.”

He was only being honest, but it looked like his explanation made Kaneki feel guilty for some reason.

Without saying anything else, Kaneki headed to the left, toward the bathroom. “It's this way, right?” he asked, not sparing him a single glance as he continued. “You go put our stuff away. I know we have it sealed, but I don't like the thought of my food being in with my nasty clothes. Do something about that and I'll get the shower ready.” With that, Kaneki wandered down the hall, opening the closet first before realizing that the bathroom was the door next to it. He entered and closed the door behind himself without calling attention to his mistake.

It was someone else's home, but it seemed that something he said must've made Kaneki feel like he needed to be more assertive. Were it anyone else, it would've seemed rude, but it made Tsukiyama kind of happy to hear him acting like he knew what he was doing, like this was his house.

He'd never had a guest like Kaneki. He never really had any guests.

A somber sort of feeling weighed heavily on his chest, but he pushed it away and told himself not to think about it. He was glad that Kaneki had taken his invitation. Such an opportunity didn't come around every day. Tonight would provide him an excellent opportunity for him to make his move, but he didn't feel ready to eat his guest just yet. He didn't get many of them, after all. Even if he didn't eat him, he wanted to see what else Kaneki could do to entertain him. Already, he'd surprised him so much.

It was exciting. As the host, he was supposed to be the one doing the entertaining, but Kaneki had already shown him something exciting; a side of him that made Tsukiyama curious. He couldn't comfortably sink his teeth into him again before he found out what lay beneath Kaneki's complicated expression.

Heart fluttering excitedly, Tsukiyama retrieved the bag from near the entrance and took it with him to the kitchen. He removed the meat and placed it on the counter but frowned at the rest of its contents. He didn't want to worry about cleaning their clothes just yet. They were ruined, so, for all he cared, they could be burned, but he knew that he had to do something about them.

Wrinkling his nose, he dragged it with him to the room where he did the wash and left it next to the washer. Feeling unable to leave just yet, he stared at it, and considered leaving it there. Knowing that he had Kaneki waiting for him, he felt compelled to leave it, but his sense of obligation won out for a change. It only took him a few moments to fill the sink with cold water, and he dumped their clothes in to soak and placed their masks to the side to scrub by hand later.

Leaving the laundry room, he paused in the hall, hearing the shower running in the bathroom. His imagination immediately went wild as he thought about what awaited him, imagining the sight that he might see when he opened the bathroom door. His heart began to pick up its pace, thumping loudly when he imagined Kaneki slowly peeling off his wet shirt, exposing his glistening chest, his nipples red and tender, begging to be bitten...

What was he doing standing in the hallway when he could have been in there already, witnessing all of that with his own eyes? First, he just needed to take a moment. Kaneki would likely take back this suggestion altogether if he walked into the bathroom with both of his eyes turned. He didn't want to creep him out again. He had to do his best to make him stay.

Feeling more in control with that thought in mind, he bravely opened the bathroom door.

Kaneki still had his clothes on, but Tsukiyama felt as though he had walked in on something. Standing still like a deer caught in the headlights, Kaneki stood with his hands awkwardly at his sides. It looked like he made it as far as his socks, but then hesitated to take the rest off. More suspicious than anything else was his left eye, gone black with what Tsukiyama could only interpret as arousal.

So much for keeping his own eyes normal.

“It's not what you think-” Kaneki was quick to say, covering his eye with his hand. He must've seen himself in the mirror already to know that it had turned. “Th... This is why I wear an eyepatch. It just does this on its own sometimes, like after I eat. It's a good thing it didn't change while we were on the train. I thought I'd have my hood, but it got covered in blood, so...”

It was cute to watch him trying to make excuses for something that Tsukiyama thought of as a completely natural thing. Kaneki's excuses sounded legitimate, but Tsukiyama knew the real reason for why his eye had turned. It was the same reason why he hadn't taken the rest of his clothes off yet.

“Are you nervous about showering with me?”

“Why would I be?”

The way that Kaneki could switch from bloodthirsty sadist to timid schoolboy was a thing that never ceased to astound him. He would've been sad if Kaneki ever completely lost that flavor. Since Kaneki kept his guard up almost constantly, it was rare that Tsukiyama got to enjoy a taste of his tender side.

“I don't know. It was your idea,” he replied, openly staring at Kaneki's chest. “Do you want me to help?”

Finally noticing the way Tsukiyama was staring at him, he covered his chest and turned around. “I can handle it myself. The shower's already on, so get in there already.”

This was the most dolce Kaneki had been in a long time. If he kept it up, Tsukiyama's soul was going to part from his body. Telling himself to calm down, paying attention to the thumping of his heart beat in his ears, he did as he was told. He focused himself on removing his clothes, but it wasn't as distracting as he'd hoped. He tried to keep his head turned to give Kaneki some respect, but he knew that he was going to see him naked in a moment anyway. It wasn't like they hadn't seen each other naked before. They'd already done something much crazier together that evening, but there was just something about the situation...

This wasn't a heat of the moment sort of thing. All of their previous sexual encounters were things that happened abruptly, but this was something they'd consciously thought about beforehand. It wasn't even supposed to be sexual.

They were supposed to be showering. Tsukiyama reminded himself of that, but he was unable to hold back his excitement.

He hadn't even needed to talk Kaneki into this one... Kaneki wanted to do it. Kaneki wanted to shower with him.

“Are you okay...?”

Looking up, bent over, he was halfway through stepping out of his pants when he noticed Kaneki staring at him. He was completely naked now, standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, staring at him with a strong, judgmental look. Realizing what a stupid-looking position he'd been caught in, he hastily attempted to untangle himself from his own clothes. It wasn't until that moment that he realized how unattractive a person must look while taking off their socks.

Coughing to hide his embarrassment, he collected his clothes and tried to fold some of them or at least roll them into something that looked a little neat, then put them beside the sink along with Kaneki's so they wouldn't trip over them on their way out of the shower.

“I'm quite alright,” was his very delayed answer. “I was just a little preoccupied.”

Those words were regretted as soon as they left his mouth, noticing that the thoughts that he had been so 'preoccupied' with had, in fact, made him a little hard. Brushing his fingers over the corners of his eyes, he could tell that they were still turned, but Kaneki's was as well, which made him feel a little less guilty for getting so excited about something that was supposed to be innocent.

Kaneki didn't ask. Pushing open the shower door, he tested the water with his hand. For a moment, he hesitated, but stepped in ahead of him and faced the wall. Tsukiyama didn't want to make him wait, knowing that it would only make him feel embarrassed to be standing there alone, but he loved seeing the red in his cheeks. When Kaneki turned around to glare at him, he quickly hopped in after him and closed the frosted glass door behind him.

Gently, he placed his hands on Kaneki's shoulders, but was surprised to find them still just as stiff as they had been a while ago when they were standing in the living room together. Moving his hands in soft circles, he tried to get him to relax, but it seemed like they only became more tense instead. Worried that he was doing something wrong, he leaned in and placed his mouth against Kaneki's throat.

“You can relax around me, you know, Kaneki-kun,” he said, brushing his lips over his damp skin. “Why don't I wash your hair for you?”

He was really trying his hardest to make Kaneki trust him, but he wasn't responding to his attempts at all. Coldly, Kaneki shrugged off his hands and stared at the water swirling around their feet. 

As he reached around Kaneki to get the shampoo sitting at the corner of the tub, Kaneki's hand shot out and grabbed it before he could reach it.

Perplexed, he waited, but Kaneki didn't do anything with it, just clutched it to his chest as if he were hoarding it. Keeping his eyes on the bottle in his hands, Kaneki turned around to face him. “I'll do yours first.”

“Mine? I'm taller than you. It might be a little difficult...”

“You don't want me to?”

Of course, the offer sounded very nice. Tsukiyama appreciated it, but it sounded like Kaneki was making the offer just to avoid being touched. It was kind of strange. After all the things they already went through that evening, he thought for sure that Kaneki would be ready to relax. If letting him wash his hair were the first step toward making that happen, then he supposed he wouldn't mind letting him try.

...This was more embarrassing than he had thought.

Kaneki glanced down, then back up at his face. “...Why are your eyes like that right now, anyway?”

“No reason,” he said. Receiving a look that pressed him to try again, he decided to answer honestly. “Why do you think? I'm naked and you're naked and we're standing this close to each other and you're asking me if I'll let you wash my hair. A ghoul's eyes change when they're excited. I don't have to be hungry for them to change, vous savez.”

He hoped that was enough. Anymore and he was going to have to get out of the shower and lay on the floor for a little while.

For a few heart-stopping moments, Kaneki didn't say a word, making Tsukiyama worry that he'd been too obvious. Moreover, he couldn't understand why he'd even said that much to begin with. It was true that he wasn't very hungry... Even without any soap yet, the shower made it hard for him to smell Kaneki like he normally could, yet he was this excited. It didn't make any sense.

“I see,” Kaneki eventually said, still thinking. “You didn't need to explain that to me.”

_Then why ask_ , he wanted to yell out, feeling like he could collapse to the shower floor after exposing his own humiliating thoughts. Telling him that seemed to finally have a positive affect on him, though. Kaneki was finally able to confidently meet his eyes without looking either like he wanted to run or punch him in the face. Tsukiyama couldn't determine what sort of look he had now, but it felt like a rather gentle one.

“Here, come over here,” Kaneki said, directing him to move around him to get his hair wet.

Behind him, Tsukiyama heard the cap of the shampoo open, and he bent down a little bit to try to find a height where Kaneki could easily reach his hair. As it turned out, he didn't need to bend that far. Kaneki's fingers, slippery and sudsy, slid through his hair and began to work into a lather. As he'd thought, Kaneki's fingers felt very nice. He knew that he probably looked stupid with bubbles all over his head, but he hummed happily anyway as he felt Kaneki gently rubbing his scalp, moving lower to get to the hard-to-reach spots behind his ears, then lower to work on the hair at the back of his neck.

Distantly, he realized what a priceless opportunity this was. No matter how embarrassed it made him feel, it was all worth it. Showing Kaneki the sides of him that he normally kept hidden would make him feel trusted. In turn, Kaneki would begin to trust him more for it.

Kaneki's fingers paused. “How is it? You get quiet when you like something.”

Tsukiyama hummed happily, leaning back a little to chase his fingers. “Mn... Oui. You really know what to do with your hands.”

With a click of his tongue, Kaneki smacked him on the back of the head and pushed him into the spray, not caring whether he ended up with shampoo in his eyes. “I wasn't trying to turn you on, you pervert. You had blood stuck in the back of your hair. If there's any left, don't blame me.”

Eyes stinging slightly, Tsukiyama pushed his fingers through his hair and shook the suds out of it beneath the water. When he turned back around, Kaneki spat out a laugh that he was unable to hide. If he had to guess, Kaneki must've thought it was funny to see the corners of his eyes looking just as red as the rest. Tsukiyama didn't find it as funny, but he couldn't bring himself to be mad at him for it. He was just determined to get his hands in Kaneki's hair.

Finding the shampoo where Kaneki placed it on the floor, Tsukiyama moved around him and reversed their positions, standing behind him with the bottle in hand. Kaneki was already prepared with a slew of protests, but he hushed him and poured some of the shampoo into his hand. Short of opening the shower door to escape, there was nowhere for him to go now, and Tsukiyama wasn't going to listen to a single protest. Like a kitten that didn't want to be bathed, Kaneki froze as soon as he put his hands on his head.

“You should close your eyes,” Tsukiyama said, beginning at the back of Kaneki's head and neck first to give him time before doing anything that could potentially get shampoo into his eyes.

He acted reluctant about it, still convinced that he was going to do something to hurt him. In the position they were currently in, Tsukiyama felt like Kaneki really didn't need to worry about that. After seeing what he had done to that guy in the alley, he had no doubt that Kaneki could destroy him if he wanted to. If he so much as startled him, he was afraid that Kaneki would shoot out his kagune and stab him straight through the stomach and take out the bathroom wall with him.

“Really,” he whispered, bringing his lips to Kaneki's shoulder. They trembled, fearful that he would soon feel the sharp edge of his teeth piercing his skin. Tsukiyama smirked and continued to lay light kisses against his skin as he moved his fingers through Kaneki's hair, gently caressing behind his ears. After a little while, he finally felt Kaneki beginning to relax, as if he'd finally realized that he really wasn't going to try to eat him once he closed his eyes.

When Tsukiyama noticed that they were closed, he moved his hands to the front of Kaneki's hair, carefully working his fingers through it to remove any of the red that stubbornly clung to his roots. To help him reach it easier, Kaneki leaned back, resting his head against his chest. Surprised, he hoped that Kaneki wouldn't be able to feel the startled thumping of his heart.

While Kaneki had his eyes closed, Tsukiyama took that moment to look over his body. Every inch of him looked delectable. His pale skin wrapped tightly around the firm muscles of his arms and legs. For a guy of his size and frame, he had surprisingly well-developed abdominal muscles as well. Tsukiyama swallowed as he stared at them, feeling his arousal and hunger rising in equal parts. The meat on Kaneki's stomach was certain to be of incredible quality. As he thought about it, he noticed something that drew his attention, but Kaneki stepped away from him and moved under the water to rinse his hair.

His voice caught in his throat for a second. “Are you... Was it alright, Kaneki-kun?”

Once he had it all washed out, Kaneki turned back around to face him. “I'll hand it to you. You're good at that.”

He smiled, pleased. “Enough to let me do it for you again sometime?”

Kaneki sniffed, turning up his nose. “Don't get the wrong idea.”

Right, he should know better than to get his hopes up. That was probably the most positive response he could have expected out of Kaneki anyway. Next time they went out and got themselves covered in blood, Kaneki might be even more receptive to the idea of having another shower with him. Doing it with him again...

Forget that – doing this with him already felt like such an intimate thing.

Inviting him over for dinner was putting things on a more personal level, but this sent that level through the stratosphere.

...Were they on a date? Was this a date? To Tsukiyama's knowledge, people wouldn't normally shower with each other on a first date, but he and Kaneki never exactly had a proper relationship to start with. It wasn't a 'relationship' by any normal definition. They certainly weren't a couple. If he let himself be a little presumptuous, though, he would say that they had at least progressed beyond being enemies.

Kaneki was food, though... Was he allowed to date his food?

He had to stop thinking about it before Kaneki noticed his unusual silence again, so he tried to search for something else to talk about. Glancing down to look for the soap, he noticed the thing that had caught his eye before. Coming a little closer, he reached out to touch the interesting spot on Kaneki's abdomen, but Kaneki flinched away before he could lay a finger on him.

“Could it be... Kaneki-kun, are you ticklish?” he teased.

Cheeks reddening, Kaneki lowered his brows at him. “I don't like it when someone suddenly tries to touch me.”

It was more than that, Tsukiyama could tell. The place he tried to touch might have been ticklish, but it seemed like Kaneki was sensitive about someone touching him there for other reasons. Kaneki had extraordinary regenerative abilities that exceeded those of most other ghouls, yet that didn't mean he wasn't still susceptible to scarring. Here and there, Tsukiyama could see evidence of the battles he'd fought, little marks that peppered his skin, yet the scar he noticed on the right side of his lower abdomen looked like it came from something significant. Tsukiyama couldn't boast any scars of that size himself.

“When was that one from?”

Stupidly, he realized what must have caused it the moment that his question was spoken. By then, it was too late to take it back.

Covering it with his hand, Kaneki looked aside. “Yeah... You look like you figured it out.”

That scar was left by his transformation. The doctor had tampered with his body, installing parts in him that would alter him, make him function differently, turn him into something else. There were enough things to prove that he was more than human now, yet that scar remained as a reminder of his fragility as a human. Tsukiyama didn't understand the feeling it gave him when he looked at it.

It made him angry, but not at Kaneki. It was more than that, though. He wished that he could easily identify a single emotion that it made him feel, but a part of him also felt... protective and a little sad. It should have made him feel happy, knowing that Kaneki wouldn't be as delicious as he was if he'd never met the doctor. If he met him before his transformation, Tsukiyama realized that he may not have given Kaneki a second glance and deemed him unappealing by his standards.

That had to be where all of those distressing feelings came from. It made him realize that Kaneki hadn't always been this way.

“Do you wish you were still human?” he asked. It felt unusual to even ask him something so personal, but he was curious.

Taking his hand away, Kaneki let it limply fall to his side. It was a question he must have considered before, but he still needed to think about it more before putting it into words. “In the beginning, yeah. My life was easier when I didn't have to worry about what I ate, but... I don't think I like the person I used to be anymore. Sometimes I think about my past self as a separate person because I feel so differently about some things now. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the way things were because I wouldn't have to think about things like this. It just gives me a headache.” He brought up his hand and stared at it for a moment, then clenched it into a fist. His expression remained unchanged. “I can't shut my eyes now. That's all I know.”

So profound. Truly, this was his Kaneki.

Kaneki made a noise when he wrapped his arms around him, but Tsukiyama wasn't going to listen to him. He knew that Kaneki wouldn't have it in him to attack him after pouring out his guts like that. Clinging to him happily, he nuzzled the top of his head and pulled back to give him a kiss on the forehead.

“We were born in two different worlds. It's fate that brought us together.”

“Fate...” Kaneki repeated, saying it like he thought it was something ridiculous. “You make it sound like we're in some kind of romance novel.”

Tsukiyama didn't read a lot of those. His life wasn't a mystery. It never had a lot of suspense. There was hardly any adventure. If he had to pick a novel to model the rest of his life after, then why not one of the ones that ended happily?

He pressed his lips against Kaneki's before he could let himself think about it, already able to tell that the conclusion wouldn't have made him very happy. The first page saw Kaneki on his plate, and there were few stories that ended the way that they began. The things he wanted didn't feel the same anymore. He felt himself fighting against their change, but he didn't know why. It was like he was afraid to take a peek at what was written on the last page.

To his surprise, Kaneki didn't refuse his kiss, reaching up instead to hold his face as he deepened it, sliding his tongue into his mouth. Tsukiyama wrapped his arms around him more tightly, sighing as Kaneki sucked his lower lip between his teeth. Moving away for a moment, Kaneki found a bottle of body wash next to the shampoo and made him turn around and show him his back. Using just his hands, he spread some of it over his shoulders and down his back, working his hands around in pleasing circles to make it suds up. Tsukiyama could tell that the way he was touching him wasn't meant to feel sexual, but he still gasped quietly when he felt Kaneki's hands fall below his waist.

One of Kaneki's feet nudged the inside of one of his, telling him to spread his legs a little. Doing as he wanted him to, he felt Kaneki's fingers slide between his cheeks, his slick hand rubbing firmly over his entrance. Now, there was no way to misinterpret the way that was supposed to be felt. Kaneki's other hand, which had been idly resting on his hip, slid around to his front and rubbed over his chest and stomach. Both of his hands met between his hips and closed around his cock, stroking for just long enough to make him fully aroused.

“Okay,” Kaneki said, turning him around to swap their positions, letting him rinse under the water. “Now you do me.”

Tsukiyama swallowed hard, looking at Kaneki's body up and down. An offer like that couldn't be refused. After he had the rest of the soap rinsed off, he reached for the bottle of soap. Kaneki turned around for him, presenting his back to him. He sent a quick glance over his shoulder, but then faced forward, giving him his trust. There was nothing more arousing.

He made sure to keep his touch light and gentle. With the flowery fragrance of the soap and shampoo interfering with his senses, it was easier to ignore the desire to devour his flesh, but all the usual visual stimuli was still there. Tsukiyama could tell how delicious he was just by looking at him. Come to think of it, this would be the perfect time and place. They could bite at each other and wouldn't have to worry about where they got the blood. Anything that wasn't caught by his tongue would just get carried down the drain.

“I must've gone crazy for a second. Of course I'm not in a romance novel,” Kaneki said, a smirk audible in his words. “I wouldn't have to worry about being eaten in a romance novel.”

He stalled for too long again. “Désolé, Kaneki-kun,” Tsukiyama apologized softly. “I'm really controlling myself now. I promise.” To prove that he was focused now, he began his share of the work, rubbing his soapy hands around Kaneki's shoulders and down his back.

Tapping a foot against the floor of the tub, Kaneki quietly mused, “Maybe you're just like the Beast...”

“Hm?” Tsukiyama's ears perked up. He knew that Kaneki said something, but he couldn't hear him over the sound of the water behind him.

“Nothing,” Kaneki said, sounding amused.

Curious as he was, he knew that Kaneki wouldn't repeat himself, so he retaliated, sliding his hands around him to his chest. Pinching Kaneki's nipples between his fingers awarded him a beautifully surprised, lewd cry. He tried to cover it up, but more noises spilled from his lips as Tsukiyama brought one of his hands down to stroke his cock while the other continued to torment one of his sensitive nipples. He'd never had a chance to touch Kaneki quite like this before, having him in front of him where he could do almost whatever his heart pleased. While he would've greatly enjoyed getting on his knees to suck his cock, he could feel the heat coming from Kaneki's skin, noticed the way his hips anxiously squirmed as he touched him, and knew exactly what it was Kaneki wanted, even if he wouldn't say it out loud.

When he slipped his fingers between Kaneki's legs, he shivered, but he didn't push him away. He seemed to be curious to find out what he was going to do with those fingers. Lightly, Tsukiyama rubbed them over his entrance, working them around it to relax him and help him get used to the feeling.

“It feels good, doesn't it?” he asked, slowly beginning to sink the first of his fingers inside of him.

Putting one of his arms against the wall, Kaneki shook his head, clenching his teeth as Tsukiyama pushed his finger in the rest of the way, trying to keep himself from making more sounds. “This isn't the place for this. Water won't be enough to cut it and I'm not letting you near me with soap. I'm not hungry for pain like you.”

Well, he had a point, but that wasn't going to stop him. Tsukiyama was feeling very attached to this scenario now, so he wasn't going to abandon it that easily. Telling Kaneki to wait for him for a moment, he opened the shower door and stepped out, trying not to slip as he went to the cabinet above the sink to find the thing he had in mind. When he returned, Kaneki had turned up the heat to keep the water warm and was standing underneath it to warm himself up. The appealing sight of Kaneki with wet hair and water rolling down his perfect form made both Tsukiyama's heart and cock respond with a horde of bewildering feelings.

“It's cold with the door open. Get back in here,” Kaneki said, face red.

Tsukiyama flew back to his side and quickly closed the shower door behind them. “G... Got what I was looking for,” he said, holding up the tube of lubricant for him to see. It was only convenient that the bathroom happened to be where he stored his extra tube. “So?” He came a little closer, nudging his nose against Kaneki's cheek, leaving a couple small kisses. “You'll really let me do it?”

Kaneki pushed him off, sneering. He rubbed at his chin, but the way that he kept his eyes averted gave Tsukiyama the impression that he wasn't as bothered by his affectionate gestures as he tried to pretend he was. “Whatever. You didn't embarrass me while we were out, so I suppose that's worth something.”

Grinning, satisfied with that answer, Tsukiyama grasped his hip and turned him around. With his back facing him, Kaneki lifted his backside, already prepared for what he would do next. Wasting not another second, he slicked his fingers and slid two of them inside of him. His heart thumped excitedly as Kaneki moaned and pressed back against his hand, already seeking more. He wanted to put it in him as quickly as possible, but he knew that Kaneki would make him regret it if he didn't properly prepare him first.

As he continued to move his fingers inside of him, trying to ignore his own insistent cock, he noticed the way Kaneki kept peeking over his shoulder. His brows were pulled together slightly, his lips pressed tight. It was hard to tell if he were really enjoying it, but the sweet breaths he occasionally released put Tsukiyama's concerns at ease.

Though, based on the way he was acting... “Kaneki-kun, could it be that this is your first time?”

Kaneki kept his face forward. “What are you talking about? Of course not.”

It was getting easier for him to tell when Kaneki was lying. He could taste it. “You know what I mean. You know I won't tease you if this is your first time in the embrace of another man. I'll be gentle with you.”

Slowly, Kaneki turned around to give him the clearest promise of death one could give without speaking a word.

That was a bad idea. After opening his big mouth like that, there was no way he could admit that this was his first time on top. He had no idea if he would enjoy it more than being on the bottom, but he was positive that he would enjoy it either way. All that mattered was that it was Kaneki and that he was about to taste his flesh in a way no one else had ever before.

Removing his fingers, he poured a little more of the lube into his hand to use on himself before placing it off to the side. Lining himself up, nudging the head against Kaneki's entrance. Kaneki turned a little more so that he could support himself with both hands against the wall. Leaning in, he laid a sloppy kiss to Kaneki's wet shoulder that was more of a lick than anything else; just a press of lips, teeth and tongue. Putting his other hand back on Kaneki's hip to keep himself steady, he guided his cock inside of him, gradually moving his hips little by little until he had his full length inside of him.

Before he pushed in, he had an idea of what it would feel like, but reality was far beyond his expectations. The exquisite warmth and tightness of his body completely surrounded him and threatened to eclipse his senses. He tried to hold himself still, to appreciate the sensation and allow Kaneki time to adjust, but his hips felt compelled to move.

“H... How is it, Kaneki-kun?” he asked, trying to distract himself.

Kaneki must've noticed that he wasn't trying to tease him like usual. Biting his lip, he looked over his shoulder. “It feels kind of weird. You like this?”

Moving his other hand around to Kaneki's front, he wrapped his hand around his cock for a moment and gave it a few strokes, giving it a good feel. “You're still hard.”

“Of course I am,” he muttered, looking away with a huff. “I only said it feels weird.”

“It's something you get used to. I guess it did feel a little odd to me at first, as well...” He moved a little more, trying to show him what he was talking about, keeping his thrusts nice and slow. “It should start to feel good after a little while. Do it enough, and you'll find it très agréable.”

Secretly, he really wanted to ask Kaneki how he was able to do this without immediately blowing it. He was glad for the shower, otherwise he would've been visibly sweating as he tried to hold himself together. The feeling was similar to the way it felt when Kaneki sucked his cock, but it was far more intense. The heat and pressure was constantly there, clamping down around him like it was trying to make him come. He wasn't sure he was going to be able to keep it up for long enough to show Kaneki how pleasurable it could feel...

“On the other hand, I don't know how you do this...” he muttered to himself.

“Hm?” Kaneki picked up his head. He must've heard him. “You don't like being on top? You do like the bottom, don't you.”

He wanted to yell. That wasn't what he meant at all, but he couldn't tell him what he was thinking. “N-no, it's not like that. This feels good to me, too,” he said, at the same time thinking to himself, _“A little too good...”_

He moved his hands over Kaneki's body, trying to take his focus off of himself for a while. As his hands scoured Kaneki's chest and stomach, his fingers brushed over something familiar; the raised scar on his lower belly. Kaneki sounded displeased when he touched it, but he could feel his body relaxing around him inside as he gently stroked the tips of his fingers over it. He let his fingers roll over it slowly, indulging in its texture, memorizing its length and shape before he moved his hand elsewhere.

Bringing his hand a little lower, he closed his fist around his cock and stroked him slowly, moving along with the rallentando movements of his hips. Gradually, he brought his hips and his hand to a stop, fearing that he would lose it if he didn't stop right there. Kaneki groaned and tried to grind back against him. The sudden stimulation nearly made him come, but Tsukiyama was able to grab Kaneki's waist and make him stop before he could unwittingly drive him over the edge.

From there, he spotted his next target. Eying Kaneki's lower back with a wicked grin, he laid his palms flat on either side of Kaneki's back and rubbed his thumbs over the sensitive spot on his lower back. Watching him carefully, he waited, rocking his hips lightly, and was soon rewarded by the sound of light panting. Kaneki's hands opened and closed against the wet tiles, unable to find anything to hold onto as he was dragged under the waves of unexpected pleasure.

“That's-” he bit out, pressing his forehead against the wall. “U-unless you want me to destroy your shower... I don't think you should touch that.”

True, if he kept rubbing at Kaneki's kakuhou, his kagune might come out on its own. A little bit of coaxing couldn't hurt, though, and kagune deserved to be cleaned and maintained, too. “You can try to control how it comes out. It doesn't always have to pop out quickly.”

“Now might not be the best time to test that,” he warned, his knees shaking with the effort to keep his kagune under control.

As he massaged his hands over Kaneki's back, he could feel his skin rippling beneath his palms. Black and red veins spread over the surface of his skin, concentrated at that one spot on his lower back, and his skin slowly began to split, four little red tendrils peeking out, squirming like a living flower. Kaneki's body was shivering, but he was able to keep them from becoming larger. One of them reached out and curled around Tsukiyama's wrist, begging to be touched. Excited by their enticing red color and slippery texture, he played with them between his fingers, amused by the way they squirmed around and responded to his touch.

“See?” he said, stroking his hand over one of them. “They can stay this size, too.”

It seemed like Kaneki had almost infinite control over how large or small he wanted them to be. Making them larger probably came naturally because it was necessary for fighting. In many cases, the bigger the better. But, because he was so used to letting them become as big as they wanted to be, it was harder for him to keep them at a smaller size. The one that had wrapped itself around his wrist was already growing longer and thicker, snaking its way up his arm. The other three wriggled around, enjoying the attention he was paying them.

Right now, there were only four. “How many of these do you have? I thought there were six.”

“I think I keep gaining more as I keep eating ghouls,” Kaneki replied. A sharp cry cut from his throat and echoed around the closed space as he pushed himself back against Tsukiyama's cock. Inside, Tsukiyama felt him clamp down. One of his tentacles grabbed his other hand and moved it around to his front, instructing him to touch his cock.

He wrapped his hand around Kaneki's cock and finally began to stroke him with purpose, making sure that he was really feeling it. So far, he knew that he was probably doing a bad job at fucking him, but if he really put in the effort, he knew that he wasn't going to last.

“It's starting to feel good, isn't it?” he asked, hoping that he could distract him.

Kaneki moaned softly, closing his eyes as he kept his forehead against the wall. “Yeah... It's not bad. You can pick up the pace if you want.”

Of course he wanted to, but... Well, he knew how it was going to end. There wasn't a way for him to avoid it now. The best he could do was make sure that he tried his hardest to please Kaneki before he came.

Taking a deep breath, telling himself to be cool, he pulled back and let himself slide back inside all the way... And was immediately overwhelmed by how good it felt. He bit his lip hard enough to make it bleed. He could do this, he told himself. He had more control than this. He could do it.

After a few more deep thrusts, he needed to pause again, sensing his climax looming over him.

“Kaneki-kun, you know...”

Kaneki turned his head, cracking open an eye. “I said you can do it how you want,” he said, confused why he kept stopping.

His opportunity to admit that he was new to this had passed a long time ago. Knowing what sort of humiliation he should expect, he quietly mumbled, “This is... I haven't... done this before... So...”

Sighing, Kaneki shook his head. “Somehow, I'm not surprised.” _What was that supposed to mean?_ “You've been doing well enough so far. If you don't last long, then-” He snickered. “Well, what else is new?”

Tsukiyama wasn't sure whether that was mean to reassure him or not. Even if it weren't, it still worked in a way. Making sure to focus on what he was doing with the hand he still had wrapped around Kaneki's cock, he began to move again. Doing it slowly only seemed to make the pleasure feel more intense, making him notice the tightness around him more vividly, so he decided to pick up the pace the way that Kaneki had told him to. Picking up an allegretto pace, he moved inside of him quickly, hammering out a steady beat with his hips against Kaneki's backside.

Although his pace was still a little sloppy, his thrusts made staccato by the jolts of pleasure that continued to assault him, he was able to occasionally slam into the spot inside of him that made Kaneki moan. After about a minute filled with the beautiful noises of wet skin on wet skin and the sounds coming from the two of them, Tsukiyama began to blearily wonder what his neighbors thought of the noise. He was always fairly quiet and never had anyone over, so they were probably shocked to hear these types of noises coming from his room. Without a doubt, they must have already woken someone up.

“ _Good_ ,” Kaneki muttered heatedly as he matched Tsukiyama's thrusts, grinding back against his cock as he thrust into him, pushing his cock into his hand as he pulled out.

With stimulation coming at him from two different directions, Tsukiyama half-expected Kaneki to be the one to come first, but he should have known better. It was a miracle that he made it this far, but his body laughed at him and decided to make his thoughts ironic. His orgasm blindsided him, catching him before he had a second to react. He kept thrusting for Kaneki, but he could feel himself coming inside of him.

He heard Kaneki groan. He expected him to be angry at him for coming inside, but it sounded like he was enjoying it. His kagune grew larger and the other three that had been wriggling around without purpose shot toward him and wrapped around whatever they could grab; two of them wrapping around his other arm, while the remaining one circled his waist, trapping Tsukiyama against him with his cock still buried in his ass. After coming so hard, he felt oversensitive and out of breath, but Kaneki wasn't going to let him go.

“Keep moving your hand.”

His arm was being held tightly by Kaneki's kagune, but his hand was still wrapped around his cock. It was hard to think or even breathe while Kaneki continued to fuck himself on him, but he tried to pay attention to his hand. Knowing that he enjoyed it when he touched the head, he brought his hand up and over it after each stroke.

Letting out loud, bestial noises, Kaneki rocked himself against him one final time and came, his cum shooting against the shower wall, some of it dripping down over Tsukiyama's fingers.

After Kaneki released him, Tsukiyama grabbed him by the waist. Kaneki seemed surprised, but he seemed to know that he was only trying to keep himself upright. After all of that, his knees felt boneless and his cock felt like it would never be the same again. Finally catching his breath, he lifted his hand and lapped up whatever cum hadn't been washed away by the shower's spray.

Kaneki turned to watch him with a pleased grin. “You did fine,” he said, reaching out to gently stroke his cheek.

His heart fluttered at the way he touched him, and Tsukiyama leaned in to chase his palm. “You aren't going to be mad at me now for coming inside of you, are you?” he asked, expecting some type of punishment as repayment.

“Not at all,” Kaneki said. Dropping his hand, he brought it behind him and pressed two of his fingers inside of himself. He closed his eyes and felt around inside, then brought his fingers back up for him to see. “You already came twice tonight. I knew you wouldn't leave a mess.” Moving around to stand under the spray, he rinsed off his hand and cleaned out the rest of the lube inside of him, shivering under the water that had gone cold. Turning back around, his kagune went back inside and he wrapped his arms around himself. “I think it's about time we get out of the shower.”

Turning it off for him, Tsukiyama opened the shower door and stepped out ahead of him to find towels. Before he even bothered with himself, he unfolded one of them and draped it over Kaneki's shoulder, using the corner of it to fluff his hair.

“You don't need to go that far,” Kaneki muttered, swatting at his hands.

As he toweled himself down, Tsukiyama let his eyes enjoy the sight of Kaneki naked and dripping for a few more moments. “You're my guest, though. You should let me take care of you,” he said, and wrapped his towel around his waist.

Kaneki sent him a soggy glare that bounced right off of him.

Leaving him to dry off, Tsukiyama headed to his bedroom to find him something to wear. As the host, he debated whether it were appropriate for him to put on something he would sleep in, but he was still maintaining the hope that Kaneki would spend the night with him. With that thought in mind, he pulled out the cotton shirt and bottoms he would normally wear to bed and found an extra pair for Kaneki.

Whistling happily to himself, he returned to the bathroom with their clothes in his arms. Stepping into the bathroom felt like walking into the rain forest now, the air thick with steam. He had no idea how long they spent in there, but it was long enough to make the door feel wet.

With his old clothes spread around his feet, Kaneki sat on the lid of the toilet, staring blankly at his phone.

“...I forgot to call Banjou and Hinami.”

Talking on the phone on the train would've been rude, so the thought must have escaped him entirely after they boarded. It was well after the time that Hinami would have gone to sleep. Even if Banjou were awake, Tsukiyama could tell that Kaneki was hesitant to wake anyone. If Tsukiyama had things his way, it wouldn't have mattered whether they knew where Kaneki was or not. He wasn't a child and they weren't his family. This was the place where he belonged.

“You've disappeared on them before, haven't you? I'm sure that one night without your presence won't kill them.”

His eyes were reluctant to leave his phone, but he eventually put it back into his hoodie pocket, determining that there was nothing he could do about it. “I just don't like to make Hinami worry. I know what she's gone through in the past, and I don't want her to feel like she's lost someone again.”

Tsukiyama couldn't explain why, but hearing Kaneki giving someone else so much concern made his blood burn. “It's just one night. They know how strong you are. If I were you, I'd be offended if they were worried that something happened to me.”

None of them would ever feel that way about him, though.

Before Kaneki could say as much, he held out his clothes for him. Muttering some quiet words of thanks, Kaneki took them from him and they dressed silently.

Seeing Kaneki wearing his clothes was like looking at a precious present, perfectly gift wrapped for him. The pants were a little too long, dragging on the floor, and the shirt, being at least one size too large, hung from his frame. Tsukiyama's fingers tingled, his arms instinctively wanting to wrap around him. A few beats of his heart found him a few steps closer to Kaneki, and, before his rational thoughts could stop him, he had his arms around Kaneki's shoulders. He expected to be pushed away, but Kaneki looked tired, like he didn't have the energy left to make him stop. Instead, he came closer himself and pressed his nose to Tsukiyama's chest, lightly breathing in his scent. Excited to find out what Kaneki smelled like now, he leaned in as well and sniffed along his shoulder, taking in the scent of shampoo, soap, the freshly laundered clothing, as well as Kaneki's unique scent that remained underneath it all.

Slowly, he came to realize that the scent that would usually excite his hunger made him now feel at ease.

“Kaneki-kun... Are we hugging?”

Finally, that was what made Kaneki separate them. He grabbed his elbow with one hand and looked aside. “I just wanted to see how you... uh...”

So they had been thinking the same thing. Kaneki also wanted to know what he smelled like after a shower. Smiling softly to himself, Tsukiyama grasped Kaneki's chin between his fingers and tilted his head up for a quick kiss, then released him from his embrace and headed to the door.

“I'll start on dinner now. You can relax in the living room.” _Or in the bedroom,_ he wanted to add. “If you want, you can watch the TV while you wait.”

Not waiting around to hear what he thought, he quickly made his exit and headed toward the kitchen, already feeling unusually accomplished. He promised himself that he wouldn't eat Kaneki tonight, and that was going pretty well so far – a little distressingly well, but he would think about that later. More importantly, Kaneki was being much nicer than usual, and he felt like it had to be a result of something he'd done. After making mistake after mistake, he must have finally done something that rubbed Kaneki the right way. This made him one step closer to winning his complete trust.

Although he didn't cook for himself very often, cooking was something Tsukiyama enjoyed. Living on a one-ingredient diet, he didn't have to make many difficult choices regarding what went into his meals, but product selection was very important. Only the finest meat was acceptable. Tonight's selection wasn't the most choice, but he would make sure to prepare it beautifully. He planned to make Kaneki feel like he was dining at a five star restaurant.

After taking out everything he needed to begin, he looked through the meat again with a critical eye. Next time, he was going to have to ask Chie if she knew of anyone who fit more within his standards. Nevertheless, he decided that the heart looked the most appealing.

Cleaning it and removing some of the fat from around the outside, he cut it in half and made thin slices from each side. Before proceeding, he leaned away from the kitchen counter and took a peek around the corner. Since he entered the kitchen, he hadn't heard a word from Kaneki. It was unusually quiet; not even the sound of the TV to fill the silence. For a moment, he was worried that Kaneki hadn't left the bathroom for some reason, but he found him resting comfortably on the couch with his feet up, a book in his hands.

There was usually a small stack of the things he was currently reading in the living room. He meant to put them away while he was cleaning, but he must have forgotten.

Kaneki looked up when he noticed him looking.

“It's alright, you can go back to reading. Don't let me bother you,” Tsukiyama said.

Before he could duck back into the kitchen, his feet were stilled by the smile Kaneki gave him. “I wouldn't say this one's the best, but I'm interested to see that you were reading it, too. I was just reading this one at home before I left today. I admit, I got kind of excited when I saw it sitting here. I hope you don't mind.”

“Not at all,” Tsukiyama said, elated that he'd once again managed to succeed when he least expected it. “I hope it picks up.”

This had to be the most normally they had ever spoken to each other. It was like Kaneki had completely forgotten about everything he did in the beginning.

Now... This was certainly it. If there would ever be a perfect time for him to devour him, then this was the night.

Except he was way too happy about this. He couldn't believe that Kaneki was finally treating him kindly. He wanted to see where this was going to go, so he couldn't just eat him and be done with it. If he did that, he was sure that he would regret it for the rest of his life. Besides, he didn't want to push his luck. That would be just like him. If he tried to eat him, Kaneki would probably overpower him and he would lose all of the progress he'd made.

With a light sweat breaking out over his forehead, he set back to work. While he was busy fretting, the stove had heated up. Taking the plate with the slices in hand, he layed them out carefully around the pan, making sure that each piece had an equal amount of space. He added a light peppering of coarse salt over the top to bring out its flavor, and, within seconds, the kitchen was filled with a wonderful smell. Now that he knew that Kaneki was enjoying himself, he didn't want to interrupt him, but it wouldn't take long for the food to cook. He wished that he could see him looking that relaxed and happy all the time.

As it cooked, he put the rest of the meat away in the refrigerator and cleaned the dishes and knives he'd used, occasionally turning around to give the pan a little shake and turn the slices. When it looked like they were ready, he turned off the heat and took the pan off the burner. Cutting off a piece from one still in the pan, he gave it a taste himself. Even bearing in mind that his standards would be higher and more critical than Kaneki's, he felt that it had a pleasant, satisfying taste; flavorful in all the right ways. Having procured the meat from someone he hadn't chosen himself, he had been worried that it would be lacking, but it was quite acceptable.

He patted himself on the back. It was all thanks to his excellent culinary skills.

...He only hoped that Kaneki would enjoy it.

Placing three of the thin slices on a plate, he took a deep breath and returned to the living room. As soon as he noticed him, Kaneki closed the book and set it down on the coffee table in front of him and sat with his feet properly placed on the floor.

“Here you are,” Tsukiyama said, nervously handing him the plate with a fork and knife.

“Wow, a fork,” Kaneki mused, looking at it like he hadn't seen one in ages. He placed the plate on the table, but turned and stared at him, fork still raised. “You aren't going to have any?”

Tsukiyama jumped. He'd totally forgotten about himself. “I.. suppose I can. There's more left in the kitchen. I was just curious to see what you thought of it first. If you like it, you're more than welcome to the rest. B-bon appétit.”

Kaneki looked hesitant to eat if he were the only one eating, but Tsukiyama could see his desire to dig in.

“Well, if you're alright with that...” Slowly, he lifted his fork and knife and cut off a small piece. As he placed it on his tongue, Tsukiyama stopped breathing, anxiously awaiting his reaction. Chewing slowly, thoughtfully, Kaneki's brow slowly came together and the corners of his mouth fell.

Panicking, Tsukiyama sat down next to him and clutched his knees. “Do you hate it? You can be brutally honest with me. Do you not like cooked meat? I can try to prepare it differently next time-”

Kaneki held up a hand and placed his fork back on the plate. There was something in his eyes that was hard to name. It wavered and grew dim as Kaneki turned aside, looking at the floor as he swallowed the piece he had been chewing. “No, it's... It's... just a lot better than I had expected it to be.”

That was it? Having strongly expected a much worse reaction, Tsukiyama felt like he wasn't ready to relax just yet. He felt skeptical and anxious, but he could tell by Kaneki's face that he was telling the truth. Tasting his food had nearly brought him to tears. Using a fork must have felt like a nostalgic experience to him. Without even realizing it, he had touched another one of Kaneki's human places, reminding him of the way things used to be.

“It took me back for a minute there,” Kaneki said, leaning forward to cut another piece. “It doesn't taste like anything I remember, but it's getting really hard for me to remember the way that things used to taste when I was human anyway. It's new, but...” He held up the fork, examining the piece of meat on the end of it with a small smile. “When I accepted my life as a ghoul, I accepted that I would be eating raw meat with my hands for the rest of my life. I can't lie... I thought there must be something weird about you, to be a ghoul who enjoys eating with a fork.”

That sounded awfully familiar. Tsukiyama couldn't let himself forget that – even if it were just a little piece of her – Rize was a part of Kaneki now.

“But... Why can't we be primal _and_ sophisticated? There are even humans who act like beasts. A fork isn't what separates us.”

Words like those were something he never would have heard from her, though. Tsukiyama didn't know what it was that Kaneki thought truly separated them, and perhaps Kaneki didn't even have an answer for that, but just the fact that he held such a thought was fascinating. If the way they ate weren't what separated them, then he wanted to know what it was.

He wanted to know what Kaneki thought. Hearing his answer might finally put sense to the way he felt when he was around him. A mysterious light danced in Kaneki's eyes as he placed another piece on his tongue and savored its taste. If he leaned a little closer, Tsukiyama thought he might be able to find the answer reflected in them.

Without turning his head, Kaneki glanced in his direction, and Tsukiyama sat back, placing his hands in his lap, feeling somewhat awkward to have been caught staring at him so intently.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “You just look so different while you're eating. I feel like I can see a different side of you.”

Kaneki's face turned red, but he didn't scold him for saying something so embarrassing. Setting his fork and knife on the plate, he picked it up and placed it in his lap, then moved a little closer to him on the couch; close enough for their shoulders to touch. Tsukiyama felt his skin light on fire at the small contact. His arm ached to encircle him. Kaneki was so close that he could smell him, but it did something strange to him.

“It's okay,” Kaneki said before he could explore that thought. Resting his head back against his shoulder, he looked up at him with those mysteriously shining eyes. “You aren't going to hurt me now.”

Even if he didn't have the words to define the things he saw in his eyes, Tsukiyama could feel what they meant to him. At that moment, all he knew was that he didn't want to eat him. He didn't want Kaneki to disappear. He wanted to feel him there, close to him. He wanted to possess him and be possessed and live inside that single moment forever where he didn't need to question anything, trusting in Kaneki's words.

Silently watching as Kaneki continued to eat, he thought to himself; Kaneki wasn't a god or a human or a ghoul, but they were the same. They were different in some fundamental ways, but the things that defined them were what made them the same.


End file.
